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The Satirical Political Report

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June 30th, 2008

McCain to Rid His Campaign of Lobbyists, in Favor of ‘Mugabe-ists’

WHEN EVEN DIEBOLD, ROVE, AND NADER  

OR BUTTERFLY BALLOT WON’T HELP ME

I CAN PLAINLY SEE

THAT I HAVE NO CHOICE

BUT GO WITH THE THUGS FROM ZIMBABWE

  

 

The Mugabe story here.

June 29th, 2008

McCain’s Unique Campaign Promise: ‘No Old Taxes’

“WE’RE NOW IN DEFAULT ON BOTH OUR TAX DOLLARS, AND COMMON SENSE.”

Crooks & Liars with the story.

June 27th, 2008

Why the GOP REALLY Loves Bobby Jindal

 

“WHILE CHINA AND INDIA ARE BEATING OUR BRAINS OUT, HE’S THE ONLY¬†ASIAN WE FOUND WHO CAN HELP US COMPETE IN THE 14th CENTURY. ¬†IN FACT, HE STRONGLY BELIEVES IN¬†THOMAS FRIEDMAN’S MAXIM THAT ‘THE WORLD IS FLAT’ — LITERALLY.”

Background on the retro-Jindal, at HuffPost.

BuzzFlash’s P.M. Carpenter on Republican Turmoil and Democratic Unity.

The Week’s Best Late-Night Jokes, via Dan Kurtzman.

June 26th, 2008

Forget ‘Willie Horton,’ Dems Plan Their Own ‘Horton Ad’

“McCAIN WHO? THIS ELEPHANT IS STAMPEDING FOR OBAMA.”

June 25th, 2008

Time-Life Issues the Definitive Collection of ‘Bush Scandals’

 

“AFTER LISTENING FOR JUST TWO SECONDS, YOUR FOOT STARTS STOMPING IN ANGER AND OUTRAGE. ¬†FROM THE INVASION OF IRAQ AND FAKE WMDs, TORTURE, ILLEGAL SPYING ON AMERICANS, KATRINA, AND THE RANK POLITICIZATION OF THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, YOU’D HAVE TO WATCH OVER 200 EPISODES OF OLBERMANN¬†TO GET THE SAME AROMA¬†OF THE BUSH YEARS, ALL CAPTURED ON JUST THESE 3 CDs.”¬†

“AND FOR THE FIRST 500 CALLERS, YOU’LL NOT ONLY RECEIVE FREE SHIPPING, BUT THE COMPLETE COLLECTION OF McCAIN FLIP-FLOPS.”

————————————————————————————-

BLOGWORTHIES:

¬†P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on Obama’s Strategic Juggernaut.

The Daily Show with Obama and McCain Reach Out, at One Good Move. 

This Just In…¬†Dan Kurtzman’s¬†Roundup of the Latest Political Insanity.

North Korea Outsmarts Bush, by Lisa Casey.

June 25th, 2008

‘Just Us’ Inbreeding Blamed for ‘Justice Idiocy’

 

“THAT’S RIGHT,¬†SENATOR, WE TRIED TO CREATE AN ENTIRE DEPARTMENT THAT WOULD BE A¬†REFLECTION OF¬†ME.”

Story at HuffPost.

—————————————————————————————

BLOGWORTHIES:

Norm Jenson on Robert Scheer’s The Pornography of Power: How¬†Defense Hawks Hijacked 9/11 and Weakened America (And a chance to Win a¬†Free Copy!).

Lisa Casey with the “upside” of Afghanistan.

John McCain’s Financing Ethics Needs the Attention of the MSM, by Chad at BuzzFlash.

James Hansen: Try CEOs of Big Oil for Fraud, at Informed Comment.

June 24th, 2008

McCain Proposes $300 Million Battery for Wife’s Vibrator

“CINDY TOLD ME SHE’D PREFER THAT TO MY ‘PORK,’ SINCE THIS OLD FOSSIL-FOOL CAN NO LONGER¬†GET IT DONE.”¬†

[Crooks & Liars with the real story.]

Lisa Casey weighs in on the energy-food crisis.

Stephen Colbert’s The Word – Black and White, at One Good Move.

June 24th, 2008

McCain: ‘A Terrorist Attack on Charlie Black Would Help My Campaign’

 

“I’VE DECIDED TO APPOINT MY GOOD FRIEND CHARLIE BLACK AS¬†ROVING AMBASSADOR TO SOME OF THE MOST DANGEROUS PLACES IN THE WORLD, WHERE THEY DON’T SHARE OUR VALUES¬†– TORA BORA,¬†SADR CITY, AND THE UPPER WEST SIDE OF MANHATTAN.”

P.M. Carpenter on Charlie Black, My Man of the Hour.

June 23rd, 2008

Obama Aide: ‘We’ll Benefit if Country Suffers an Attack of Flatulence’

 

“NOW, UNNERSTAN’, WE’RE NOT SAYING THAT THIS’LL REMIND VOTERS OF JUST HOW OLD JOHN McCAIN REALLY IS … ONLY THAT HIS ENERGY POLICY STINKS TO HIGH HEAVEN.”

Crooks & Liars with the McCain/Charlie Black Terrorist story.

June 23rd, 2008

A Contrast of Two Irish Catholics: How Would George Carlin Have Conducted ‘Meet the Press?’

 

 

“HEY DICK, FUCK YOUR BULLSHIT, FUCK YOU, AND FUCK EVERYBODY THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU.”

——————————————————————————————-

BLOGWORTHIES:

Lisa Casey with the Latest on¬†McCain’s Energy Plan.

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: Progressives Need To Cut Obama Some Slack.

The New Classics, and we ain’t talking ‘Coke’: The 100 best reads from 1983 to 2008, via Sunday Links at One Good Move.

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