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The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."



April 17th, 2011

Trump Tells Candy Crowley What He’d ‘Take’ From Each Nation

“Now, with the Arabs, I’d take all their oil, but with the Indians, who are not as bad — after all, they work those long hours at the 7/11 — I’d just take their Taj Mahal for my casino in Atlantic City.”

Story and video at Crooks & Liars.

November 16th, 2009

Obama to Send Leon From ‘Curb’ to Kickstart Middle East Peace Talks

“NOW, WHO BETTER THAN A MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE FARRAKHAN, BUT IS NAMED ‘DUBERSTEIN,’ TO RESOLVE CENTURIES OF HATRED AND BLOODSHED.”

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An excellent review of the latest Curb episode by Alan Sepinwall.

January 26th, 2009

Obama Names George Mitchell to Investigate Steroid Use in the Middle East

“WE FIGURE IF WE CAN CUT DOWN ON ‘ROID RAGE IN THE MIDDLE EAST, WE’LL ONLY HAVE A FEW THOUSAND YEARS OF RELIGIOUS MISTRUST AND HATRED TO CONTEND WITH.”

January 23rd, 2009

Qaddafi Proposes Merger of Oval Office and Palestine: Ovaltine

“THIS WILL GIVE THE PALESTINIANS NOT ONLY THE WEST WING, BUT THE RIGHT OF RETURN TO THE ENTIRE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA.” 

“It’s Bold, Jerry, Bold!

Qaddafi’s Slop-ed on Isratine, at The NY Times.

January 9th, 2009
January 6th, 2008

Shocking Roger Clemens Interview on ’60 Minutes’: Mike Wallace Confesses to Steroid Use!

“HOW ELSE DO YA’ THINK I’M STILL ‘BREAKING BALLS’ AT AGE 90?”

“DIDJA’ EVER NOTICE THAT MIKE WALLACE’S HEAD HAS GOTTEN ALMOST AS LARGE AS MY EYEBROWS.”

[Dave Zirin at BuzzFlash weighs in on "Clemens Meets Wallace: Butts on Parade."]