“YOU’RE A PROUD AND GREAT PEOPLE WHOSE PHARAOH NOT ONLY WORKED OUT THE ISSUE OF HEBREW SLAVERY, BUT ALSO INVENTED THE CONDOM.”

“THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION IS NOT ONLY TRYING TO TAKE AWAY OUR FREEDOMS, BUT IS THREATENING TO PUT US ALL IN CHAINS.”

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Mitch McConnell’s Contortionist  Lies on Financial Reform — at BuzzFlash.

FBI vs CIA, at All Hat No Cattle.

“WITH OBAMA’S POLICY OF UNILATERAL NUCLEAR DISARMAMENT, OUR ONLY HOPE IS TO BRING BACK THE ‘ENOLA GAY‘.”

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From Nukes, to Smokin’ in the Boys Room — at All Hat No Cattle.

Dan Kurtzman with The Dumbest Political Quotes of 2010 (So Far).

“WE’RE NOT GONNA’ FOLLOW ERIC MASSA AND THE DEMOCRAT PARTY.  GRANDMA IS NOT ‘TICKLE- READY,’ ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE HASN’T LAUGHED SINCE THE BOB HOPE USO TOUR IN VIETNAM.”

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Lisa Casey with the alternative  GOP Health Plan.

Dan Kurtzman’s  Political Cartoons of the Week.

“THE PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION PROVIDES: ‘EVERY PERSON OF WEALTH AND MEANS HAS THE RIGHT TO SCREW PERSONS OF LESSER MEANS, IN THE PURSUIT OF THEIR OWN HAPPINESS’.”

“LET’S FACE IT, WITH ALL THESE DIM-WITS SPENDING MONEY ON CARFARE, HOTEL ACCOMODATIONS AND LET’S NOT FORGET TEABAGS, BY THE END OF THE FOURTH QUARTER, THIS COUNTRY IS POISED TO GROW LIKE A MALIGNANT TUMOR.”

“REPORTS INDICATE THAT UNLIKE JANET JACKSON’S FLASH OF BREAST, THIS SHOW FEATURED A SELF-ANOINTED EMPRESS … ENTIRELY WITHOUT CLOTHES.”

“OUR PLAN FULLY COVERS ALL PEDESTRIAN-PEDESTRIAN ACCIDENTS, AND AFTER YOU PAY A $500 DEDUCTIBLE, THE PLAN HOLDS DOWN COSTS BY ELIMINATING SURGERY IN FAVOR OF BODYWORK AND A BRAND NEW PAINT JOB.”

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Meg at BuzzFlash on the real House Republican Bogus Healthcare Plan: No Coverage for Preexisting Conditions.

“MADAM, IF YOU WERE MY CONGRESSPERSON, I’D POISON YOUR TEA.”

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The original Churchill quote.

5. Mean Mitch McConnell — Based on the iconic Coke commercial, the Senate Minority Leader from Kentucky refuses to give a homeless kid his extra button-down Brooks Brothers shirt.

4. The Glenn Beck Crying Trade Baby — Glenn promises you can trade your sanity for his hysterical idiocy in just seconds, all from the comfort of your own home.

3. Teabag 1984 — Forget the groundbreaking Apple commercial, Tea Party Wingnuts throw Tom the Hammer DeLay at the U.S. Constitution encased at the Smithsonian.

2. The Dudweiser Frogs – Rush, Sarah and Glenn sitting on a log in upstate NY’s Congressional District 23, croaking: “We –Fucked–Up.”

1. Clydesdales Playing Political Football: In a metaphor of the GOP “health plan,” the world-renowned horses kick around health care, until one breaks his leg, and then is shot by the others.