“WE’RE NOT GONNA’ FOLLOW ERIC MASSA AND THE DEMOCRAT PARTY.  GRANDMA IS NOT ‘TICKLE- READY,’ ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE HASN’T LAUGHED SINCE THE BOB HOPE USO TOUR IN VIETNAM.”

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Lisa Casey with the alternative  GOP Health Plan.

Dan Kurtzman’s  Political Cartoons of the Week.

“THE PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION PROVIDES: ‘EVERY PERSON OF WEALTH AND MEANS HAS THE RIGHT TO SCREW PERSONS OF LESSER MEANS, IN THE PURSUIT OF THEIR OWN HAPPINESS’.”

“LET’S FACE IT, WITH ALL THESE DIM-WITS SPENDING MONEY ON CARFARE, HOTEL ACCOMODATIONS AND LET’S NOT FORGET TEABAGS, BY THE END OF THE FOURTH QUARTER, THIS COUNTRY IS POISED TO GROW LIKE A MALIGNANT TUMOR.”

“REPORTS INDICATE THAT UNLIKE JANET JACKSON’S FLASH OF BREAST, THIS SHOW FEATURED A SELF-ANOINTED EMPRESS … ENTIRELY WITHOUT CLOTHES.”

“OUR PLAN FULLY COVERS ALL PEDESTRIAN-PEDESTRIAN ACCIDENTS, AND AFTER YOU PAY A $500 DEDUCTIBLE, THE PLAN HOLDS DOWN COSTS BY ELIMINATING SURGERY IN FAVOR OF BODYWORK AND A BRAND NEW PAINT JOB.”

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Meg at BuzzFlash on the real House Republican Bogus Healthcare Plan: No Coverage for Preexisting Conditions.

“MADAM, IF YOU WERE MY CONGRESSPERSON, I’D POISON YOUR TEA.”

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The original Churchill quote.

Here it is folks, from the home office of Michele Bachmann’s lunatic mind, the top commercials from her health care protest, the  Super Bowl for Freedom:

5. Mean Mitch McConnell — Based on the iconic Coke commercial, the Senate Minority Leader from Kentucky refuses to give a homeless kid his extra button-down Brooks Brothers shirt.

4. The Glenn Beck Crying Trade Baby — Glenn promises you can trade your sanity for his hysterical idiocy in just seconds, all from the comfort of your own home.

3. Teabag 1984 — Forget the groundbreaking Apple commercial, Tea Party Wingnuts throw Tom the Hammer DeLay at the U.S. Constitution encased at the Smithsonian.

2. The Dudweiser Frogs – Rush, Sarah and Glenn sitting on a log in upstate NY’s Congressional District 23, croaking: “We –Fucked–Up.”

1. Clydesdales Playing Political Football: In a metaphor of the GOP “health plan,” the world-renowned horses kick around health care, until one breaks his leg, and then is shot by the others.

      

Who can turn the world OFF with her VENOM?
Who can take a CENTRIST DEM, and suddenly make him seem MARXIST-LENIN?
Well it’s you CHURL, and you should know it
With each WORD and every little DIATRIBE you show it 

YOUR HATE is all around, no need to waste it 
SIMPLE HUMAN DECENCY, you just DEBASE it
You LOST YOUR CENSUS after all
You LOST YOUR SENSES after all

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Think Progress on the Latest Bachmann Insanity — on the Census.

I get up every morning
From Sean Hannity’s warning
Trashin’ commie Jews and blacks from the City
There’s a Robo-calls a callin’
Right-wing polls a pushin’ pollin’
And on Hardball, I’m really a pity

And if your brain likes slime
You’ll be Joe McCarthy by nine
And earn your Wingnut stripes to get your pay
If you ever get annoyed
Be like me, a racist ‘roid
I love to work at dissing all day

And I’ll be…
Taking care of diss-ness, every day
Taking care of diss-ness, every way
I’ve been taking care of diss-ness, it’s all mine
Taking care of diss-ness, and working overtime

It’s as easy as wishin’
Joe the ‘plumber’s’ a physician
And your opponent is black, brown or yellow
Be a know-nothing nut bar
Chances are you’ll go too far
If you get in with the RIGHT bunch of fellows
People see you having fun
Just a Lyin’ like a Hun
Tell them that you like to hate this way
For FOX News we’ll be employed
And we’ll end up self-destroyed
We love to work at dissing all day

And I’ll be taking care of diss-ness, every day
Taking care of diss-ness, every way
I’ve been taking care of diss-ness, it’s all mine
Taking care of diss-ness, and working overtime

“SHE’S JUST KATHERINE HARRIS … WITHOUT THE LIPSTICK.”

Story at TPM.