“I GUESS I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE THE ‘PROCTOLOGIST TO THE STARS,’ BUT I REALLY DON’T KNOW MY ELBOW FROM MY ASS.”

“IT’S JUST A SHAME HE COULDN’T HAVE APPLIED HIS CHILD-MOLESTING AND PEDOPHILIA TO A REALLY GOOD CAUSE, LIKE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.”

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The Peter King YouTube video, via Wonkette.

“THE EVIDENCE IS PRETTY CLEAR, YA’ KNOW. THE OUTFIT STRAIGHT OUT OF ‘SGT. PEPPERS,’ THE GHOULISH ZOMBIES ON HIS ALBUM COVERS, AND THE FACT THAT THE COLOR CONTINUALLY DRAINED OUT OF HIS FACE OVER THE YEARS.”

[Editor's Note: If you read this post backwards, while drinking a Shirley Temple upside down, you'll develop a certain urge to play air guitar left-handed while barefoot and clad in a black suit.]