“UNDER THE FIRST AMENDMENT, I CAN SAY ANY FREAKISH SHIT I WANT, AND NOT BE CRITICIZED BY THE ELITE LIBERAL MEDIA.”

“JOE BIDEN HAS TO RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO CALL SARAH PALIN A BEE-HIVE-HEADED HO, HUMP HER LEG, AND SAY SHE’S JUST ANOTHER BUSH WITH A BUSH.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

George Lakoff at BuzzFlash: A Brief Guide to the Debates.

Lisa Casey weighs in on Putin rearing his head in … Venezuela!

Juan Cole on: Palin on Hamas.

Politics, Humor and High Culture, at BartCop E!

“TODAY, GERALD FORD WAS EATEN BY WOLVES, AND I WAS BEATEN INTO SUBMISSION BY FOX NEWS AND THE McCAIN CAMPAIGN, WHO WANTED MSNBC TO RID CHRIS MATTHEWS AND OLBERMANN FROM THE ANCHOR CHAIRS.” 

Story at Huffington Post.

“IF JOHN McCAIN TIRES AND FALLS ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL OF STATE, IT’LL BE THE WHOLE COUNTRY THAT’LL END UP IN A DITCH.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Purple Heart Band-Aids and Tire Gauges, at Perrspectives.  And Crooks & Liars has more on the GOP “inflation” of the tire gauge issue.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Corporate Media Ignores White House Planning of “False Flag” Operations to Trigger War with Iran.

                   LUDACRIS

                          LEWD-A-CHRIS

                                       LUDICROUS

[HuffPost on the Ludacris Video and Obama's Reaction]

BuzzFlash on The Swift Goading of Barack Obama, and Katie Couric as Media PUTZ of the Week.

Madkane on the Media Sheep.

In a 666-page federal complaint filed in the District of Sodom and Gomorrah (the Southern District of New York), Lucifer alleges that Ms. Coulter has misappropriated all of his core ideas, including evil, malice, indiscriminate attacks on innocents, and just acting like a damn fool.

Lucifer’s attorney, Alan Dershowitz, addressing the press on the Courthouse steps, also asserted that Coulter stole¬†his client’s identity, as evidenced by Coulter’s¬†set of horns under her right-wing blonde wig,¬†a pair of balls that would make the GOP elephant proud, and her Adam’s apple (the original used by the Devil in the Garden of Eden).

The complaint also charges that Coulter¬†used¬†Lucifer’s¬†Mastercard to run up a huge bill for pitchforks.

The allegations of¬†Coulter’s¬†plagiarism first surfaced¬†in The Devil’s wholly-owned newspaper, The New York Post, which is run by Lucifer’s direct descendant, Rupert Murdoch.

Coulter, an author and attorney, who once apprenticed for the law firm featured in the Al Pacino movie, The Devil’s Advocate,¬†has denied all charges of impropriety, insisting that her ideas to¬†slander and ruin the lives of¬†decent people are all her own, and come straight from her soul.¬†

She also emphasized that this is not the first time that Lucifer has made such charges, having brought similar claims against Joe McCarthy, Tom DeLay, and Justices Scalia and Thomas. 

======================================================

Disorder, South of the Border?: Based on current exchange rates, the alleged vote fraud in the recent Mexican election is actually only one-tenth of that which occurred in the last two U.S. Presidential elections. 

Particularly in this era of the evil boy genius/Turd-Blossom Rove,¬†don’t miss an opportunity to check out David Mark’s terrific new book, Going Dirty:The Art of Negative Campaigning.¬†

   

9. When your wife starts to play with your family jewels, you say “wait ’till after Bill Maher’s New Rules.”

8. You’ll root against a sports team just because they’re from a Red State.

7. When you ask someone their “sign,” you mean Jesus Fish or Darwin Fish.

6. You use “Picture-in-Picture” to watch Russert and Stephanopoulous.

5. You think the New York Times is really controlled by the Editorial Board of the Wall St. Journal.

4. Your idea of multitasking is reading Daily Kos while listening to NPR.

3. You’re all for “mixed marriages,” except for the one between Matalin and Carville.

2. You oppose capital punishment in all cases — with the possible exception of Chris Matthews.

1. Although you’re ACLU on personal privacy, you advocate warrantless strip searches of the Right-Wing Blondes — to check if their carpets really match their drapes.

A press release issued by the RWBs regretted that Ms. Coulter’s remarks were not delivered in person to the survivors of 9/11 victims, that she did not spit in their faces, and that she did not punch-out Matt Lauer for getting “testy” with her.

In addition to being paddled mercilessly by Laura Ingraham and Monica Crowley, the punishment meted out to Coulter by the RWBs will include the following:

• Three weeks of insensitivity training.
• 250 hours of community service at the most exclusive and exclusionary Country Clubs.
• Six months of “House of Representatives Arrest” — where Ms. Coulter will be exposed around the clock to Know-Nothing, Nativist Bible-thumpers.

The rail-thin Ms. Coulter was also severely reprimanded by the RWBs for not donating a portion of her book profits to the Starve The Children Fund, which she founded based on her own personal lifestyle.

However, Ms. Coulter plans to rectify such omission by giving this charity all proceeds from her next book, entitled Mary Todd Lincoln: Exploiting Abe’s Assassination And Faking Depression Just To Get Into An Insane Asylum.