The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."



November 1st, 2008

McCain’s Latest ‘Fowl’ Play in Florida: Claims Obama Would End ‘Early Bird Specials’

“UNDER MY OPPONENT’S TAX PLAN, EVERY MEAL WOULD COST MORE THAN TWO DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS, AND HESHIE THE RETIRED GARMENT DISTRICT WORKER WOULD BE DEPRIVED OF ANY COUPONS.”

“GET OUTTA’ HERE!”

October 30th, 2008

McCain Endorsed by Karl the Marxist!

IF YOU LOOK AT WHAT THE MAN ACTUALLY HAS TO CONTRIBUTE, VERSUS HIS EXTRAVAGANT LIFESTYLE, HE’S A WALKING ADVERTISEMENT FOR ”FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY, TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS NEEDS.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

But Colbert Endorses Obama, via One Good  Move.

For her unstable, right-wing slanted interview with Joe Biden, Barbara “Marxist” West Is the BuzzFlash MEDIA PUTZ of the Week.

Lisa Casey on the real GOP ‘Wink Campaign.’ 

Juan Cole on McCain’s Racism and Hypocrisy on the Khalidi Issue.

Dan Kurtzman has The 25 Most Devastating Quotes About Sarah Palin.

October 26th, 2008

Here’s What Brokaw SHOULD Ask McCain on MTP

“SENATOR, I’M GOING TO PUT UP A PICTURE OF YOU FROM THE 2000 CAMPAIGN, WHERE YOU APPEARED TO BE A RELATIVELY SANE PERSON. … WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?”

October 25th, 2008

Forget Ashley Todd, McCAIN HIMSELF Engaged in Self-Mutilating Hoax

“I TRIED TO BLAME IT ON A TALL BLACK MAN, BUT WHAT REALLY DID ME IN WAS THE ‘BACKWARDS B’ FOR ‘BUSH’ THAT I CARVED INTO THE FACE I SHOWED THE VOTERS.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash on Naomi Wolf’s “The End of America.

Never mind a ‘Fifth Grader,’ is Sarah Palin smarter than a … fruit fly?  Norm Jenson on the latest ignorance of the Lady in Red.

Will Ferrell’s Bush Meets Fey’s Palin on ‘SNL’, via Dan Kurtzman.

The Wheels are comin’ off –  via Lisa Casey. 

Madkane on the well-heeled Ms. Palin.

October 24th, 2008

Forget ‘Joe the Plumber’ — Meet ‘John the Village Idiot’

McCain to Pennsylvanians: I couldn't agree more that you're all racists!

“I COULDN’T AGREE MORE WITH THE ‘2000 JOHN McCAIN,’ WHO WOULD’VE DISAGREED WITH THE ‘08 JOHN McCAIN ,’ AND CALLED HIM OUT FOR BEING A SLEAZY DEMAGOGUE WHO IS PLAYING THE RACE CARD.”

October 21st, 2008

McCain, Hosed by ‘Phony Plumber,’ to Rely on Cartoon Characters

“NOW, UNDER SENATOR OBAMA’S SOCIALIST TAX PLAN, WIMPY THE HAMBURGER EATER WILL NEVER REALIZE HIS DREAM TO BECOME A FRANCHISEE OF McDONALD’S.” 

“I WISH THE McCAIN CAMPAIGN HAD SPOKEN TO ME FIRST. THANKS TO THE LAST EIGHT YEARS, NOW I CAN ONLY AFFORD VEGGIE BURGERS.”

October 20th, 2008

Michele Bachman Overdrive Performs ‘Taking Care of Diss-ness’

I get up every morning
From Sean Hannity’s warning
Trashin’ commie Jews and blacks from the City
There’s a Robo-calls a callin’
Right-wing polls a pushin’ pollin’
And on Hardball, I’m really a pity

And if your brain likes slime
You’ll be Joe McCarthy by nine
And earn your Wingnut stripes to get your pay
If you ever get annoyed
Be like me, a racist ‘roid
I love to work at dissing all day

And I’ll be…
Taking care of diss-ness, every day
Taking care of diss-ness, every way
I’ve been taking care of diss-ness, it’s all mine
Taking care of diss-ness, and working overtime


It’s as easy as wishin’
Joe the ‘plumber’s’ a physician
And your opponent is black, brown or yellow
Be a know-nothing nut bar
Chances are you’ll go too far
If you get in with the RIGHT bunch of fellows
People see you having fun
Just a Lyin’ like a Hun
Tell them that you like to hate this way
For FOX News we’ll be employed
And we’ll end up self-destroyed
We love to work at dissing all day

And I’ll be taking care of diss-ness, every day
Taking care of diss-ness, every way
I’ve been taking care of diss-ness, it’s all mine
Taking care of diss-ness, and working overtime

October 19th, 2008

Chicago’s Leading Citizens ‘Bear’ Witness for Ayers

“DAAAA AYERS…. DA AYERS, DA AYERS, DA AYERS.”

DITKA. DICKHEAD.”

October 19th, 2008

Powell Announces the New ‘Colon Doctrine’

“IF A CANDIDATE DOESN’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT ECONOMICS, PICKS A SHITHEAD FOR VICE PRESIDENT, AND HIMSELF ACTS LIKE A RACIST SHIT, YOUR ‘EXIT STRATEGY’ HAS TO BE TO FLUSH HIM DOWN THE TOILET.”

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One Good Move has the Colin Powell Endorsement.

Sarah Palin and the Know Nothing Party, by Meg White at BuzzFlash.

From Red State to Red Baiting, by Juan Cole.

October 18th, 2008

McCain Now REALLY Forced to Defend ‘Red’ Territory: Mars!

“MY MARTIANS, NOW THAT WATER’S BEEN FOUND ON YOUR PLANET, YOU’RE GONNA’ NEED ‘JOE THE PLUMBER’ MORE THAN EVER.”

I TOLD YOU EARTH WAS AN INFERIOR CIVILIZATION.”

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