“ACCORDING TO OUR NBC/WALL ST. JOURNAL POLL, 85% BELIEVE THAT DICK CHENEY’S LESBIAN DAUGHTER, MARY, IS THE ONLY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY WHO DOES NOT PRESENT A THREAT TO THE VALUES OF THE UNITED STATES.”

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Speaking of threats, Norm Jenson has the real story on The Patriot Act.

The Dreaded E-Word: Madkane on the GOP’s lack of empathy for empathy.

In a dramatic turnabout from its previous harsh condemnation, the Christian Coalition has decided to embrace Dick Cheney’s pregnant lesbian daughter, claiming that she’s actually the Second Coming of the Virgin Mary.

Reached at his offices at Liberty University, the Reverend Jerry Falwell conceded that the Christian Right had been shortsighted in trying to boot this Mary out of the manger, when she actually offered a tremendous upside to the evangelical cause.

“Let’s face it,” Falwell stated, “she is a ‘Mary,’ she’s probably technically a virgin, and it wouldn’t really surprise me if her life partner was a carpenter.”

The Rev. Pat Robertson also bestowed his “Virgin Mary” blessing on Cheney’s daughter, whose lesbianism some trace to her utter disgust with Dick. Robertson asserted that the return of the Savior through the Cheney bloodlines was not really a surprise, given the Vice President’s policy of bringing Armageddon to the Middle East.

However, not all evangelicals are buying into the program. James Dobson, of Hocus Pocus on the Family, for example, has expressed outrage that “Jesus will have two commies.”

In addition, a number of progressive religious leaders are actually trying to persuade Mary Cheney to abort the child, which they believe is certain to be the Antichrist.

In this regard, they plan to send Mary Cheney a delegation of three wise comedians, Judy Gold, Al Frankincense, and Bill Myrrh.

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By the way, I’ll be appearing on Thom Hartmann’s radio program this coming Tuesday, December 26th, at 10:30 am EST/7:30 am PST.

BLOGWORTHIES:

Norman Solomon at BuzzFlash: Powell, Baker, Hamilton — Thanks for Nothing.

Progressive Daily Beacon on Napoleon Bonehead and America’s Stellar Press.

Crooks & Liars on the bigoted Virgil Goode. Just more of what we need to win hearts and minds in the Arab world, as noted by Steve Gilliard.