“UNDER OUR PLAN, ALL ‘PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS’ WILL BE COVERED, AND ‘PORTABILITY’ WILL EXTEND AS FAR AS ARGENTINA.”

“I PLAN TO STOP OFF FOR MY FREE CHECK-UP AT THE TORONTO CLINIC THIS FALL, AND THEN PROCEED TO SHOOT THE FIRST PUCK AT THE OPENING OF THE HOCKEY SEASON, EH?” 

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Lisa Casey weighs in on the “fake birth certificate” insanity.

David Gregory Wins BuzzFlash’s Media Putz Award: Sinks to New Low in Sanford Affair.

The Bruno Debate, at BartCopE!

Ad Copy:

“Once you’ve dealt with screwing your constituents, don’t let erectile dysfunction get in the way. VIVA … VIAGRA! Viagra, America’s most prescribed treatment for hypocritical, sexually repressed evangelicals. Before using, ask Dr. Tom Coburn if you or your parents have enough hush money to keep your mistress and her husband quiet. Side effects may include blurred vision (never mind, you already had that), upset spouses and flushing your career away. If an erection lasts for more than four hours, that’s a good thing — at least it’ll keep you from voting to deny health insurance to working-class Americans.”

“A CHRISTIAN HOUSE OF ILL-REPUTE, DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF, CANNOT STAND WITHOUT BEING A LAUGHINGSTOCK.”

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Lisa Casey previews an even bigger GOP Horror Show — The Republican Presidential Ticket in 2012.

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: On health-care reform, a surprising assist from Republicans.

[Sung to the tune of "YMCA"]

GOP man, if you want to go down.
With a woman, with whom you don’t have a vow
GOP man, if you don’t want to leave town
There’s no need … to … fly to Buenos

GOP man, there’s a place you can go.
GOP man, where wild oats you can sow
You can stay there, and I’m sure you can pray
For salvation, and perhaps a Three-Way

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

They have everything, for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with Christ, and use our in-house sex toys 

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

You can get yourself laid, deduct the cost of your meals,
Plot for school prayer, and to undo the New Deal

GOP man, do you seek guarantees?
That you can hide your, blatant hy-pocrisy?
GOP man, you can visit the Lord
And a  … smokin’ … Christian hot broad

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

[Editor's Note: Any resemblance between the Indian Chief and Michael Steele is purely coincidental.]

“SENATOR ENSIGN, YOU COME TO ME ON THE DAY YOU SCREWED THE WIFE OF YOUR TOP AIDE, AND YOU ASK ME TO KILL THE COMMANDMENT OF ”THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY?”

AlterNet with the Transcript of The Rachel Maddow Show on the Family — Washington D.C.’s “C Street House,”

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BuzzFlash with Tom Coburn as GOP Hypocrite of the Week, and Mark Karlin on Liz Cheney as Dick’s Mole in the State Department.

Norm Jenson with The Daily Show’s White Men Can’t Judge.

Dan Kurtzman with the Sonia Sotomayor Joke Round-Up.

“I SAID, ‘MR. EL PRESIDENTE, MY SERVICES COULD BE BETTER PUT TO USE RIGHT NOW OVERTHROWING THE BANANA REPUBLICS IN ALASKA AND SOUTH CAROLINA’.”

“THE FIRST EPISODE WILL FEATURE A GOVERNOR WHO FIRST CLAIMS HE GOT LOST ON THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL, TRIES TO ACCOMPLISH A WIFE SWAP, AND ULTIMATELY PROVES HE HAS NO GREY MATTER IN HIS ANATOMY.”

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All Hat No Cattle on the sane(?) Saddam Hussein.

And Dan Kurtzman on the insane housewife from Wasilla.

Michael Jackson Mashups, at BartCopE!

While the Supreme Court made new law in ruling for the white firefighters in New Haven, the mainstream media neglected to report on just how culturally biased the written test questions actually were. Here are a few sample questions; judge for yourself:

1. The National Hockey League Flames played in what city before moving to Calgary?

2. What length of firefighter boots are also ideal for bass fishing? 

3. Identify the specific breed of cow owned by Mrs. O’Leary that started the Great Chicago Fire.

4. In Seinfeld, what firefighter’s job did Kramer perform in the race to save Leaping Larry’s Appliance Store?

5. What brands of white bread and mayo are favored by four out of five firehouse kitchens?

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Rebecca Freitag at BuzzFlash on Al Franken’s a Senator, No Joke. But What Kind?

More on Sanford and Sin at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane’s Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford.

“LIKE WOODY ALLEN, AL FRANKEN IS JUST ANOTHER POINTY-HEADED LIBERAL INTELLECTUAL JEW, BUT AT LEAST WOODY KNEW THAT 90% OF LIFE WAS JUST SHOWING UP.”

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GOP Spends Nearly $2 Million on Norm Coleman, and Gets Al Franken, by Rebecca Freitag at BuzzFlash.

Norm Jenson with The Daily Show’s The Story of King David Mark.