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The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."



April 17th, 2011

Trump Tells Candy Crowley What He’d ‘Take’ From Each Nation

“Now, with the Arabs, I’d take all their oil, but with the Indians, who are not as bad — after all, they work those long hours at the 7/11 — I’d just take their Taj Mahal for my casino in Atlantic City.”

Story and video at Crooks & Liars.

March 23rd, 2011

Obama Urged To Impose ‘No Union-Stripping Zone’ Over the Midwest

“NOW, MR. PRESIDENT, HERE’S A REAL CHANCE FOR SOME HUMANITARIAN ACTION, BY STOPPING  SOME CRAZED DICTATORS WHO ARE THREATENING IMMINENT HARM TO THEIR OWN PEOPLE.”

March 21st, 2011

Libyan Operation To Be Renamed as ’2011: A Space Odyssey’

“AS WITH THE MOVIE OF THE SIMILAR NAME, NOBODY REALLY UNDERSTANDS WHAT THIS MEANS EITHER, AND SOME PEOPLE ALSO QUESTION WHETHER IT’S BEING DRIVEN BY ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE.”

March 5th, 2011

UN Gets Tough, Imposes No-Fly Underwear on Gaddafi

“ONCE HE HAS TROUBLE EXTRICATING HIMSELF FROM THIS DILEMMA, AND STARTS PISSING IN HIS PANTS, EVEN HIS STAUNCHEST SUPPORTERS WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO ABANDON HIM.”

February 27th, 2011

Qaddafi to Step Down, Replace Charlie Sheen on ‘Two And A Half Men’

“WE FELT THIS WAS A WIN-WIN FOR BOTH THE LIBYAN AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, SINCE QADDAFI IS LESS LIKELY TO ENGAGE IN ANTI-SEMITIC RANTS, AND ALSO LESS LIKELY TO OFFEND THE FASHION GODS.”