“DUDE, WE’RE PROUD TO BE HERE DEFENDING THE RIGHT TO FREE ERECTIONS.”

ABC News with the story on U.S. Embassy Guards.

“FORGET THE SWITCH FROM ANALOG TV, WE WANNA’ GET RID OF THE TVA.”

                           “WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BUT GOP IDIOTS.” 

[Yes, Virginia, there still is a Tennessee Valley Authority.]

“ACCORDING TO MY HIGH-LEVEL SOURCES IN THE PENTAGON, CHENEY ACTUALLY BELIEVED THE REAL BUSH WAS MORE OBEDIENT, BUT THAT THE SEAL WAS MORE COMPETENT TO CARRY OUT CHENEY’S PLAN OF GLOBAL DOMINATION.” 

[Think Progress with the real Cheney/Navy Seal Story.]

BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: McCain the Maverick Guttersnipe Brings on the White Girls, the Black Guy and Race.

Jon Perr on “High Horse, Low Road”: Bush Was Right About McCain.

Juan Cole on Pakistani Intelligence Agency Linked to Indian Embassy Bombing.

And Congrats to Madkane! Bob Newhart Names “Mad” Kane Winner of 2008 Robert Benchley Society Award for Humor.

10. Even with your back to the TV, you cringe with recognition of Richard Perle’s voice on Hardball.

9. When your wife starts to play with your family jewels, you say “wait ’till after Bill Maher’s New Rules.”

8. You’ll root against a sports team just because they’re from a Red State.

7. When you ask someone their “sign,” you mean Jesus Fish or Darwin Fish.

6. You use “Picture-in-Picture” to watch Russert and Stephanopoulous.

5. You think the New York Times is really controlled by the Editorial Board of the Wall St. Journal.

4. Your idea of multitasking is reading Daily Kos while listening to NPR.

3. You’re all for “mixed marriages,” except for the one between Matalin and Carville.

2. You oppose capital punishment in all cases — with the possible exception of Chris Matthews.

1. Although you’re ACLU on personal privacy, you advocate warrantless strip searches of the Right-Wing Blondes — to check if their carpets really match their drapes.