“Mr. Stewart knows nothing, he sees nothing, and he says nothing!”
"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."
“YES, IT’S TRUE RACHEL, WHEN I’M ON THE DAILY SHOW, I RALLY FOR SANITY BY HECKLING THE RIGHT-WING. AT ALL OTHER TIMES, HOWEVER, I ASSUME AN INSANE ALTER EGO AND TRY TO HIDE MY LIBERAL VIEWS.”
“YOU SEE, RACHEL, IT’S OBVIOUS THAT WHERE STEPHEN COLBERT PLAYS A FICTIONAL CONSERVATIVE CHARACTER ON HIS SHOW, AND THE ACTUAL CONSERVATIVES TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY … SO TOO I’VE FOOLED ALL THE LIBERALS INTO ACTUALLY THINKING I’M ONE OF THEM.”
“I DARE SAY, SIR, YOUR HOLIER-THAN-THOU ‘FALSE EQUIVALENCY’ OF OUR STATION WITH FOX MAKES YOU UNIQUELY SUITABLE TO REPLACE MR. LIEBERSTEIN … AS PRESIDENT OF THE CO-OPTED BOARD.”
“I KNOW THIS IS POLITICALLY INCORRECT, BUT I’D RATHER TAKE MY CHANCES GOING OFF THE RAILS ON A CRAZY TRAIN … THAN RIDE WITH A MUSLIM ON A PEACE TRAIN.”
“NOW, THIS NEW CONTEST MAKES MY OLD ‘FINDA THE POPES IN THE PIZZA CONTEST’ LOOKA PRETTY EASY IN COMPARISON. HERE, I THINK ITS GONNA BE A-PRETTY HARD TO FIND A SINGLE REPUBLICAN… AMONG MORE THAN 200,000 PEOPLE LOOKING FOR SOME SANITY.”
“AND SO, WHILE ON MY NIGHT JOB, WE CONSTANTLY MOCK THE FALSE EQUIVALENCE PRACTICED BY THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA, HERE ON OUR DAY SHIFT, WE DO THE VERY SAME THING, BY PRETENDING THAT THE OCCASIONAL EXCESSES OF THE LEFT ARE INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE TRULY INSANE RIGHT-WING PROPAGANDA MACHINE.
“BY THE WAY, IF YOU’RE A SELF-DEFINED CONSERVATIVE OUT THERE, PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND…. A LITTLE HIGHER, I CAN’T SEE YOU.”
“THEY SAID THEY NOT ONLY FORGAVE ME FOR MY ANTI-SEMITIC COMMENTS, BUT THAT I’D BE PERFECT FOR ESTABLISHING THEIR BRAND: ‘EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS.”
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Another case of insanity – The Tea/GOP Would HATE Our Actual Founders, at BuzzFlash.
“NOW LISTEN, JON, SINCE CHRISTINE O’DONNELL HAS PROVEN THAT NOT MASTURBATING LEADS TO INSANITY, IT’S PRETTY CLEAR THAT YOU’LL HAVE TO EXPOSE YOURSELF TO EXPOSE THIS TEABAGGER.”
“JOHN, PERHAPS IF THE CATHOLICS WERE TO FOLLOW SUIT, THEY JUST MIGHT BE ABLE TO DEFEND THEMSELVES AGAINST THEIR OWN PRIESTS.”
One Good Move with the God-Smacked Video, and Arizona’s Ultimate Slighting at All Hat No Cattle.
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