“AFTER LISTENING TO JON KYL AND LINDSEY GRAHAM, IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT NOT ONLY SHOULD I GET THE HOLIDAY OFF, BUT GIVING OUT ALL THESE PRESENTS IS REALLY PURE SOCIALISM.”

“THE GOP IS NOW ADOPTING THE ‘MAD‘ CONCEPT TO DOMESTIC POLITICAL CONSIDERATIONS — IF WE HAVE TO BLOW UP THE WORLD TO TAKE DOWN OBAMA, AT LEAST WE CAN START THE WORLD OVER IN HOBBES’ STATE OF NATURE.”

Story here, and BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin asks:  Why Do the Republicans Want to Put America at Risk of a Nuclear War?

GOP Senator Jon Kyl, who along with his fellow party cretins has blamed unemployment benefits for unemployment, was caught in an embarrassing betrayal of conservative dogma today, when he acknowledged that continuation of the Bush-era tax cuts will  only incentivize the wealthy to slack off.

Kyl, who thought television cameras and microphones were off during a taping of the new FOX News Sunday morning program, This Week in 1931, cackled heartily as he was overheard saying “if our rich friends who bankroll our campaigns get to keep their windfall tax cuts, they won’t even bother to get off their fat asses to to clip their bond coupons.”

Kyl further “gave away” his real beliefs by adding, “if we really wanted to spur growth and job creation, we’d double taxes on the super-rich; after all, just to maintain their lifestyle of luxury houses and boats, they’d have to work twice as hard.”

To make matters even worse, Kyl expressed amazement that “Democrats buy the bullshit about even more favorable tax rates for capital gains on passive investments.” “After all,” Kyl added, “if  low tax rates are supposed to encourage and reward hard work, how are lower tax rates supposed to incentivize doing nothing?”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell hastily called a press conference to claim that Kyl had been out in the Arizona sun too long, apparently unaware that the sanity of his entire party had been adversely affected by the very global warming that they vehemently deny.

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BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin on the threat to Progressive Programs on MSNBC.

Jim Hightower on the skewed fiscal priorities, via BartCopE!

Lisa Casey on the return of America’s Favorite Soap Opera.

“IT’S A WELL-KNOWN FACT THAT THOSE FOLKS YOU SEE STANDING ON THE SO-CALLED ‘UNEMPLOYMENT LINES’ ARE ACTUALLY GETTING PAID TO HOLD THE PLACE FOR OTHER PEOPLE … WHO THEN GET PAID FOR HOLDING THE  PLACE FOR THIS GROUP.”

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More GOP Loopies, at All Hat No Cattle.

McCain and Cantor, the big little men, by P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash.

“Senator Graham, in response to your questions about the Second Amendment, and whether the right to own a gun is fundamental, let me be clear:

“I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill.  Kill.  I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth.  Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL.”  And if my ankle wasn’t broken, I’d be jumpin up and down yelling, “KILL, KILL,” and “KILL.”

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From GOP Crashes, to Mashups, at BartCopE!

“THE ONE THAT REALLY INFLUENCED ME WAS WHERE THE PROSECUTOR DELIBERATELY FRAMED AN INNOCENT MAN, HAD HIM SENT TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR, AND THEN HAD HIS DEFENSE ATTORNEY, PERRY MASON, BEAT UP SO BAD … THAT HE WAS PERMANENTLY DISABLED.”

Story here.

“NOW, JUDGE, WE HAVE REPORTS THAT YOU’VE HAD THIS REPETITIVE DREAM, WHERE YOU’RE LATE TO COURT, WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES ON, AND CAN’T FIND THE COURTROOM … AND STILL YOU PROCLAIM THAT YOU CAN MAKE A ‘WISER’ DECISION THAN AN OLD WHITE JUDGE.”

“KEITH, WHILE YOU’D HAVE TO EAT A WHOLE BAG OF ‘WISE POTATO CHIPS’ TO GET SICK, EVEN A SINGLE SERVING OF JEFF SESSIONS WILL DO THE TRICK.”

1. In West Side Story, were you rooting for the Jets … or the Sharks?

2. Will you refrain from using “Latin” in your judicial opinions? 

3. In I Love Lucy, who would you say was “wiser”: a LATIN MALE  bandleader, or a goofy WHITE FEMALE who always wanted to play the Copacabana?

4. Do you think First Amendment rights were trampled when NBC was intimidated into pulling repeats of the Seinfeld Puerto Rican Day Parade episode?

5. Do you promise not to hang fuzzy dice from the bench, or to wear a “No. 51″ on the back of your robes in support of Puerto Rican Statehood?

“NOT ONLY WILL SHE HAVE TO ANSWER THE ORAL QUESTIONS, BUT WE’LL JUDGE HER ON HER ‘TIMES’ RACING UP THE STAIRWELL OF A BURNING BUILDING WITH 50 POUNDS OF EQUIPMENT … AND A BROKEN ANKLE.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the Young Republicans carrying on the Grand Old tradition: Racism, Hate, Psychotic Paranoia and Intimidation.

Forget Dueling Banjos, Madkane with Dueling Scandals.

Palin Resigns, Alaskans Immediately Begin Search For Lipstick-wearing Pig – at Apolitiicus.