“AT THE END OF THE DAY, THERE ARE REALLY A NUMBER OF OPTIONS – WE CAN SIMPLY WRITE OFF THEIR TOXIC WASTE, SELL THEM AT A GREAT LOSS TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER, OR JUST STUFF ‘EM AND PUT ‘EM ON DISPLAY IN THE NATIONAL NEANDERTHAL MUSEUM.”

“NO, PLEASE — AS I TOLD PRESIDENT-ELECT OBAMA, SOUP IS NOT A MEAL, AND I INSISTED, AS THE PRICE OF BI-PARTISANSHIP, A SIX-COURSE DINNER AT MENDY’S.”

“McCain’s Old, Jerry, He’s Old!”

“FORGET ANY ‘PARDON.’  YOU BETCHA’ I’M GONNA SLAUGHTER AND STUFF THAT TURKEY McCAIN, ALONG WITH HIS WHOLE STAFF,  SO THAT I CAN GO ON WITH MY GOBBLEDYGOOK FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.” 

The Real Turkey massacre here:

“HOLY CRAP, MR. PRESIDENT-ELECT. SINCE I REFUSED TO LOOK AT YOU DURING THE CAMPAIGN, I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU WERE BLACK.”

——————————————————————————–

BLOGWORTHIES:

Lisa Casey previews the Bush departure.

Buzzflash’s Meg White on Swastikas and Semi-automatics: What’s Wrong With Gun Show Culture.

Iraqis View Security Agreement as having a Flexible Timetable, by Juan Cole.

“STEVE, I’VE DECIDED THAT IN ORDER TO RECAPTURE AMERICA’S STATURE IN THE WORLD, WE’VE GOT TO CAPTURE GEORGE BUSH AND DICK CHENEY, SEND THEM TO GITMO, AND HOLD THEM INDEFINITELY. IN FACT, JOHN McCAIN HAS INDICATED TO ME THAT HE PERSONALLY WANTS TO TRY OUT SOME NEW WATERBOARDING TECHNIQUES.”

“MY FRIENDS, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I WARNED ABOUT SENATOR OBAMA’S INEXPERIENCE. HE’S ABOUT TO SIT DOWN WITH A DANGEROUS DICTATOR, WHO IS PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ASS DESTRUCTION.”

Now its time to say goodbye, to Sarah and her kin.
She plans to do some studyin’, to find those Africans.
You’re all invited back, to see what she can do that’s dumber 
While she plots to run in two-oh- twelve with Mr. Joe the Plumber

For President, that is. Can’t spell, Takes her shoes off to count.

“JED CLAMPETT, WELCOME SIR. IS IT TRUE THAT JETHRO’S FIXIN’ TO VOTE FOR THAT PALIN WOMAN IN 2012.”

“MR. MATTHEWS, I GOTTA HAVE A LONG TALK WITH THAT BOY.”

“Its gonna take a lot to drag me away from here
There’s nothing that a hundred Senators could ever do
I bless my reign down in NAFTRA- CA
Gonna take some time to screw everything up again”

The real song — Toto’s Africa .

“I ONLY FOUND OUT ABOUT McCAIN’S INCONTINENCE LATE IN THE CAMPAIGN, WHEN HIS STAFF STARTED LEAKING ABOUT MY SHORTCOMINGS, AND PISSING ALL OVER ME.”

“YES, YOUR HIGHNESS, I WOULD LOVE TO JOIN YOU IN HUNTING PHEASANT AND INVADING RUSSIA.”