“POLLS SHOW THAT EVEN THE MOST OBNOXIOUS COMMERCIALS ARE MORE POPULAR WITH THE AMERICAN PEOPLE THAN THE ABRASIVE SOUNDS OF THOSE MADMEN — BOEHNER, McCONNELL AND CANTOR.”
"The Best Political REAM
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“POLLS SHOW THAT EVEN THE MOST OBNOXIOUS COMMERCIALS ARE MORE POPULAR WITH THE AMERICAN PEOPLE THAN THE ABRASIVE SOUNDS OF THOSE MADMEN — BOEHNER, McCONNELL AND CANTOR.”
“WE NORMALLY WOULDN’T SUBSCRIBE TO THE PHILOSOPY OF A NEW YORK JEW, BUT WE DO BELIEVE THAT 90% OF LIFE IS JUST SHOWING UP BARACK OBAMA.”
In a stunning display of bipartisanship, President Obama and the Republican Leadership have reached an historic compromise, agreeing to extend indefinitely the Bush Tax Cuts for the wealthiest Americans, but allowing the President’s term to expire prematurely, sometime in mid-2011.
Mr. Obama hailed this agreement as an example of “how the two parties can meet in the middle and respond to the needs of the electorate — and without even having to spend taxpayer funds on a slurpee for Mitch McConnell, or a Merlot for Speaker-to-be Boehner.”
The President further emphasized that he had still “stood on principle, by not handing the ‘keys’ back to the Republicans,” but that he would instead “serve as their ‘designated driver,’ by personally driving the car back into the ditch. Since the GOP is now the party of Bachmann and Palin,” Mr. Obama added, “just think of it as Driving Miss Crazy.”
As part of the agreement, the President will also submit a resignation confessing that he’s a Muslim socialist who tried to replace the Constitution with the Koranic Manifesto, but will avoid the harshest demands made by FOX News and Rush Limbaugh: that he be deported to Kenya.
Senate Minority Leader McConnell indicated that he initially harbored some reservations about the agreement, since he “originally wanted to not only impeach the President, but to actually annul his first two years in office.” But McConnell made clear that he and GOP House leaders had moderated their demands with the taxpayers’ best interests at heart, “by saving money on the forest of paper we would’ve used for subpoenas.”
“Besides,” McConnell concluded, “this is much better than our original goal to limit Obama to one full term. After all, we Republicans think it’s an historic compromise to have the nation’s first black President serve only 3/5ths of a term.”
“NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE TRAVELGATE, WHERE OBAMA HAD THE WHITE HOUSE TRAVEL OFFICE HIDE HIS SECRET TRIPS TO KENYA … BUT ALSO WHITEWATER, WHERE THE PRESIDENT INSISTS ON DRINKING FROM THE WHITE WATER FOUNTAIN IN THE WHITE HOUSE.”
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Truthout With Bill Moyers: “Welcome to the Plutocracy!”
Lisa Casey with the GOP’S Limited Gummint.
Mad Kane’s Election Results Madness.
Norm Jenson with The Daily Show’s “Lost and Found,” From the Rally to Restore Sanity.
“MY HEART WILL BE TRUE-BLUE, BUT I’LL STILL GET INTO THE TANNING BED WITH THE RED.”
“IT’S ABOUT STRANGE, ALIEN TIME-TRAVELERS WHO MAY APPEAR HUMAN, BUT WHEN CUT, ACTUALLY BLEED ‘TAX CUTS’.”
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More on the Pledge, at All Hat No Cattle.
“FOR THOSE AMERICANS WHO ARE NOT ALREADY IN A HAZE, WE PLAN TO HAZE THEM SO BADLY THEY’LL WISH THEY WERE A FRATERNITY PLEDGE LEFT NAKED IN THE WOODS IN THE DEAD OF WINTER … WITHOUT HEALTH INSURANCE.”
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GOP ‘Pledge’ Embraces Radical ‘Tenther’ View of Constitution at Think Progress.
The Tea Party in Oz, at All Hat No Cattle.
Recommended Reading, at BartCopE!
“WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT EXPOSURE TO AGENT ORANGE, I’VE BEEN GLOWING EVER SINCE MY NUMEROUS TOURS IN TAN SALON.”
The latest Simpson outrage at FDL.
Lisa Casey on the GOP’s Social InSecurity.
Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Ken Mehlman … and the GOP’s “Gay Problem – at BuzzFlash.
“THE GOP CUTTING OFF UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS IS LIKE PUTTING US ANTS INTO JOHN BOEHNER’S TANNING BED.”
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Lisa Casey with more on the Republican Ant-ics.
The Daily Show with the GOP Blame Game, at One Good Move.
“ABOUT THE ONLY CHANCE WE HAVE TO RISE ‘HEAD AND SHOULDERS’ ABOVE THE DEMOCRAT PARTY … IS TO BLIND THE AMERICAN PUBLIC WITH SHAMPOO IN THEIR EYES.”
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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Send The White Christian Domestic Terrorists to Guantanamo.
BartCopE! on the Teabag Terrorism.
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