“BETTER GET SCALIA AND THOMAS ON THE PHONE. WE’RE GETTIN’ FLUSHED FASTER THAN JOE THE PLUMBER’S CREDIBILITY.”

Story at  Crooks & Liars.

“BY THE END OF TOMORROW, ‘JOE THE PLUMBER’ WILL BE JUST ABOUT THE ONLY WORKING MAN WITH HIS HEAD UP THE CRACK OF HIS ASS.”

“TOM, WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS THAT IF YOU’RE A PLUMBER MAKING OVER $250K, YOUR PURCHASES WILL BE ELIGIBLE FOR A TAX CREDIT.”

——————————————————————————

Mark Karlin on The Real America vs. the Republican Party of Intolerance.

Bill Maher’s New Rules on the Best Election Over, at One Good Move.

And Lisa Casey Provides a Sneak Preview of … 2012!

“AND THAT’S NOT ALL. IN ADDITION TO MY SOUL, I’LL THROW IN A  SARAH PALIN BLOW-UP DOLL AND A ‘JOE THE PLUMBER’ TOILET PLUNGER.  BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE – IF YOU CALL WITHIN THE NEXT 30 MINUTES, YOU’LL ALSO RECEIVE A GOP POCKET CALCULATOR THAT UNDERCOUNTS BARACK OBAMA’S VOTE .”

“MY FRIENDS, UNDER SENATOR OBAMA’S TAX PLAN ALL THE ‘JANITORS IN A DRUM’ WILL BE TAKEN TO THE CLEANERS.”

“UNDER SENATOR OBAMA’S TAX PLAN, TIM THE DENTIST WILL HAVE TO PAY MORE ON HIS EARNINGS FROM WIRING SHUT THE MOUTH OF SARAH THE BARRACUDA.”

“A little schtickel of GOP SUICIDE”?

Wait a minute. Maybe Obama’s right. Perhaps I’ve been wrong to blindly follow the neanderthal, know-nothing ideology and policies of the modern GOP. Maybe we Republicans should embrace the progressive tradition and put the welfare of the average person and the survival of the planet above sheer corporate greed and profit. Maybe the lessons of science and the enlightenment could be extended to our party platform on issues of health care, the environment, and improving the lives of the poor and middle class. Perhaps I could lead the way to a new age, an age of rebirth, a Renaissance! …. Naaaaaahhh!

“SINCE EVERYONE KNOWS THE JEWS AIN’T TOO HANDY, I COULD MAKE AT LEAST $250K OVER THERE, JUST SHOWIN ‘EM HOW TO JIGGLE THE TOILET HANDLE.”

Story at Huffington Post.

“UNDER SENATOR OBAMA’S TAX PLAN, MASOCHISTS LIKE ASHLEY WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE WHIPS AND CHAINS WITH WHICH TO BEAT THEMSELVES SENSELESS.” 

Ashley Todd = Reverse Sweeney Todd?

Crooks & Liars with the story.

“I COULDN’T AGREE MORE WITH THE ’2000 JOHN McCAIN,’ WHO WOULD’VE DISAGREED WITH THE ’08 JOHN McCAIN ,’ AND CALLED HIM OUT FOR BEING A SLEAZY DEMAGOGUE WHO IS PLAYING THE RACE CARD.”