Huddled in his situation room with his chief advisers, the president is trying to wade through a welter of conflicting advice as to whether to up the ante against Mullah Murdoch and his minions, or to scale back the fight to occasional drone attacks against the droning right-wingers.

The hawkish Hillary Clinton, sources say, advises sending at least 40,000 troops to the FOX studios, while Vice President Joe Biden is advocating a partition plan, that would separate FOX into separate divisions of news, opinion, and the psychiatric ward.

Some respected columnists, such as Nicholas Kristof of The New York Times, have urged a renewed emphasis on building schools at FOX, but Obama’s national security team appears to agree that such an effort would be futile, and would be more useful in a more advanced feudal setting such as Afghanistan.

There is also concern that enhanced efforts to defeat FOX News are complicated by the rampant drug trade, since there is strong suspicion that such FOX anchors as Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck are being supplied with hallucinogens by Rush Limbaugh.

Even many liberals are skeptical that the war against FOX can be “won,” given the historical lack of any respect for democratic institutions or a culture of civility at the network, which continues to “Ailes” the country more than the swine flu.

“GENTLEMAN, SINCE THIS MEETING SEEMS TO BE GOING SO WELL, WHY DON’T WE BUILD ON THIS BY BRINGING YOU GUYS BACK, ALONG WITH O.J SIMPSON AND MARK FUHRMAN.”

“I SAID, LOOK DAVID, IN THIS NEW FLU-PANIC ENVIRONMENT, WE CAN JUSTIFY YOUR RECLUSIVE DESIRE TO STAY AT HOME, AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO EXPOSE YOURSELF TO SUCH SWINE AS SCALIA OR THOMAS.”

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BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin: Quickest Route for an Obama Supreme Court Nominee is Ending the Filibuster.

“I REFUSE TO CHEW UP THE NEW YORK TIMES, CRAP ON THE CONSTITUTION … OR TAKE ANY SHIT FROM THE VICE PRESIDENT’S DOG.”

“AND IF I KEEP PUTTING MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH, THERE’S A 100% CHANCE PRESIDENT OBAMA WILL SEND ME TO DIRECTLY NEGOTIATE WITH THE TALIBAN.”

CQ Politics with the story.

And Dan Kurtzman with The Week in Political Cartoons.

“I DON’T REALLY CARE WHO HE IS — HE WAS TALKING TOO LOUD ON THE CELL PHONE, REPEATING OLD STORIES ABOUT HIS NINETY-YEAR OLD MOTHER GOING TO CONFESSION, AND WORST OF ALL, WHISTLING AT EVERY STOP.”

’3 A.M. Phone Call Ad’ Wins Hillary the Presidency, of OnStar

Baseball Decrees the Steroid Age the ‘Shrunken Ball Era’

The Legend of Fred Thompson: A Politician Turned Actor Who Couldn’t Play a Candidate on TV

Evangelicals Claim Prop 8 Protects the Sanctity of Marriages Performed by Elvises in Vegas Chapels

Accused in Hate Crime Plea Bargains Down to ‘Spite’

Famed Photog Annie Leibovitz Uses Negatives to Capture McCain’s Campaign

Iraq Celebrates 5th Anniversary by Re-Gifting Democracy

Rudy Giuliani Reveals His Feet Are Two Different Sizes: a ’9′ and an ’11′

Co-Founder of Slinky Dies, After Falling Down Steps

Pollsters Admit Flaws in Methodology: ‘Exit Polls’ Conducted at Entrances

Sarah Palin Touts Her Experience as a ‘Closet Organizer’

Satirists Riot Over The New Yorker Obama Cartoon

Americans Strongly Believe in God, But One That Only Controls the Outcome of Sporting Events

Due to Snowstorm, Premature Ejaculation Clinic Operating on a 5 Minute Delay

Huckabee Declares He’s Ready to be President From ‘Day Six,’ Literally

Spitzer Scandal Spurs Call for Reform: Public Financing of Hookers

Christian Right Condemns Gay Adoption of Highways

FOX News Blames Obama for Nigerian Spam

Time-Life Issues the Definitive Collection of ‘Bush Scandals’

Sarah Palin Establishes a New ‘Crack in the WOODEN FLOOR’

Stood Up by ‘Joe the Plumber,’ McCain Campaigns with ‘Janitor in a Drum’

Iraqi Shoe Thrower Receives a ‘Seinfeld Sentence’ — Has to Serve as Bush’s Butler (and Shoeshine man)

A Sign of the Times: E*Trade Baby Leaps to Death From His Crib

McCain Claims ‘Multiple House Story’ Helps Him With Mormons

Sarah Palin Takes Phone Call from Napoleon Bonaparte

U.S. Finally Greeted as Liberators, by Wall Street

Lesson Learned: Auto Executives Make Return Trip to D.C. in Flintstones Car

An Ominous Sign for the GOP: Even Mars Turns Blue

Bush’s ‘Mission Accomplished’ Finally Realized: Iraq in Better Shape Than U.S.

Sarah Palin’s Greatest ‘Gift’ to America: Ruining Thanksgiving

Treasury Gives Bailout to Sperm Banks, to Inject Liquidity Into Frozen Markets

Blagojevich, Preparing for the Worst, Plans to Sell His Own ‘Seat’ in Jail

Conspiracy Theory of ‘Second Shoe Thrower’ Raised by Abdul-liver Stone

Bernie Madoff’s Fraud Reaches Beyond Jewish Community: Ran Pyramid Scheme in Egypt

House of Tudor Lays Claim to Vacant NY Senate Seat

Cheney Voices Concern Biden Will Diminish the ‘Vice’ in Vice Presidency

GOP Realizes Its Worst Nightmare: Black Man Elected to Lead U.S. Out of The Dark Ages

“IF YOU LOOK AT WHAT THE MAN ACTUALLY HAS TO CONTRIBUTE, VERSUS HIS EXTRAVAGANT LIFESTYLE, HE’S A WALKING ADVERTISEMENT FOR ”FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY, TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS NEEDS.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

But Colbert Endorses Obama, via One Good  Move.

For her unstable, right-wing slanted interview with Joe Biden, Barbara “Marxist” West Is the BuzzFlash MEDIA PUTZ of the Week.

Lisa Casey on the real GOP ‘Wink Campaign.’ 

Juan Cole on McCain’s Racism and Hypocrisy on the Khalidi Issue.

Dan Kurtzman has The 25 Most Devastating Quotes About Sarah Palin.

“IN FACT, I TOOK SOME GOOD ADVICE FROM ONE OF OUR BEST VICE PRESIDENTS, AL GORE — ‘KEEP JOE BIDEN IN A LOCKBOX’.“  

Story here.

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Trading away the American Pie, at All Hat No Cattle.

The Daily Show asks, Are You A Real American? — at One Good Move.

Madkane is a McPalin Haiku Hysteria Finalist.

“JOHN McCAIN IS NOT UNDER BUSH-IET DOMINATION.”

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P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on Rain Woman Palin.

Wasting no time, the late-night comics weigh in with the Vice Presidential Debate Jokes, via Dan Kurtzman.

Juan Cole on the VP Non-Debate.

And another true sign of the Apocalypse?  Faithful See Virgin Mary’s Image in Toilet Bowl – at One Good Move.