In perhaps the ultimate sign that the burst of the real estate bubble has reached “historic” proportions, Tishman Speyer Properties and BlackRock Realty, the financially troubled owners of New York’s legendary Stuyvesant Town, said today that they’re turning the  massive apartment complex  back to the Indians, who originally sold it to the Dutch almost 400 years ago.

A major part of the problem was that the New York courts had refused to overturn the rent regulations that had been in effect since the 17th Century, which allowed occupants of three-bedroom duplexes with East River views to pay a monthly rent of only $24 in trinkets.

In addition, BlackRock’s plans to convert these rent-regulated apartments into luxury condos hit an even bigger rock, given the current plight of  middle-class families unable to afford even the  meal of corn enjoyed by the original tenants –  even during the Great Recession of  1659, which had been brought on by the collapse of toxic stockpiles of  “corn derivatives.”

The new owners indicated that the rental properties might now be turned into a giant gambling casino, which would be financed not by a traditional mortgage, but by securitized slot machines, backed by collateralized fruit.

On CNBC, Jim Cramer commented that he was “sitting bullish” about the deal, and that in addition to the gaming industry, he was optimistic that this deal would even be able to resuscitate “Running Bear Stearns.”

In perhaps the ultimate sign that the reckless behavior of  Wall Street is exacting an “historic” toll, the Borough of Manhattan, originally purchased by the Dutch from the Indians 400 years ago, was today sold back to the same Native-American tribe.

Most shockingly, the price was also the same — $24 — although given the strength of the Indian bargaining position, they did not have to pay cash, but only toxic stockpiles of  “corn derivatives,” also known as ethanol.

Perhaps fittingly, while the seller in such transactions typically springs for the celebratory lunch, in this case, the contracting parties went ”Dutch treat.”

Although the tribe indicated that the entire island of Manhattan would be turned into one giant gambling casino, most financial experts agreed that this represented an improvement in “risk management” over the business practices of the last ten years. 

Disgraced AIG executives lost no time in shifting their focus, immediately seeking hiring bonuses from the new Native-American owners of Manhattan. One former AIG trader even claimed that he had a brand new idea for “poker chip default swaps,” to insure that there would never be any losses resulting from sub-prime gamblers.

On CNBC, Jim Cramer commented that he was “sitting bullish” about the deal, and that in addition to the gaming industry,  he was optimistic that this deal would even be able to resuscitate “Running Bear Stearns.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on the Deficit Bogeyman under your bed.

Norm Jenson with The Sunday Funnies and Bill Maher’s New Rules.

Pick your poison, between Congress and AIG, at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane’s Fume About Hume.

“SO HERE’S THE DEAL: I’LL BE DOING THE SERIOUS COMMENTARY, CRAMER WILL PLAY THE COURT JESTER, AND … WELL, I GUESS NOTHING WILL REALLY CHANGE AFTER ALL.”

“YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, JON. FOR NOW ON, MY SHOW, MAD MONEY, WILL HAVE THE FOLLOWING WARNING: WATCHING CNBC MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR WEALTH.”

“MR. FLEISCHER, SIR … HOW DO YOU DEFEND AN ADMINISTRATION THAT LIED US INTO WAR, TORTURED, WRECKED THE ECONOMY, AND POLITICIZED SCIENCE AND THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT?”

“PRESIDENT OBAMA SHOULD THANK PRESIDENT BUSH FOR DOING SO MUCH DAMAGE TO THIS COUNTRY, THAT EVEN THE TERRORISTS FELT THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT WORTH DESTROYING.”

“WELL, THE MARKET HAD SOME GIDDYUP TODAY. AND HERE’S HOPING THE OBAMA PLAN WORKS, ‘CAUSE MY BOYS NEED A HOUSE, AND I DON’T WANNA’ STOP AT THE DUTY FREE SHOP.”

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Norm Jenson with Jon Stewart and In Cramer We Trust, and Dan Kurtzman has the Roundup of Jon Stewart vs. Jim Cramer: Round 2.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: CNBC Hypes Its Owner, General Electric, As GE’s Performance and Stock Plummet.

Satirical Obamicon Posters at All Hat No Cattle.

“NOW, YOU GOTTA’ GO OUT AND BUY SHARES OF JON STEWART — THE ONLY ONE WHO’S GOT THE BALLS TO LAY ‘BARE’ THE ‘BULLSHIT’ THAT MY FELLOW COMMENTATORS AND I HAVE BEEN TOSSING OUT OVER THE LAST YEAR.”

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with kudos to Jon Stewart: Devastates CNBC and Its Destructive Boosterism of Failed Wall Street Scams.

Norm Jenson has the Stewart skewer of CNBC here.