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The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."



August 12th, 2009

What If Stephen Hawking HAD Been a U.S. Citizen?

“I’M SORRY, MR. HAWKING, BUT YOU HAVE A CONDITION THAT WAS PRE-EXISTING WITH A MR. LOU GEHRIG, AND EVEN IF WE DIDN’T DENY COVERAGE, THE ONLY PHYSICIANS IN OUR NETWORK … ARE OUT OF THIS UNIVERSE.”

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Professor Hawking’s Response to Investor’s Business Daily, at HuffPost.

August 12th, 2009

Stephen Hawking Predicts Conservative Newspaper Will be Sucked Into a Black Hole

“IT’S CLEAR THAT THE HEAT, WITHOUT ANY LIGHT, EMITTED BY INVESTOR’S BUSINESS DAILY IS SO CONTRARY TO THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE, THAT IT’S BOUND TO SIMPLY DISAPPEAR OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH.”

Story at TPMDC.