“I WAS INFORMED BY THE HARDING ADMINISTRATION THAT IF I GAVE THEM A CONTRIBUTION, I’D RECEIVE AN OIL LEASE LARGE ENOUGH TO TREAT ROD BLAGOJEVICH’S HAIR.”

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Don’t miss Who Needs Big Government? – The “Funny or Die” Video from Government is Good.

“The issue here is not whether I broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with laws against bribery and corruption; I did. (winks) But you can’t hold a governor responsible for his own sick, perverted behavior. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole whole State of Illinois, including its favorite sons Abraham Lincoln and Barack Obama? And if the whole State of Illinois is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of all of our states and institutions in general?  Isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society?  Well, you can do what you want to me, but I’m not going to sit here and listen to you bad-mouth the United States of America! Gentlemen!”

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Dan Kurtzman has the complete  Blago roundup.

And here’s a YouTube “mix” of Blago and Otter:

I’M A MODERN SAINT
HELPING THE POOR AND NEEDY
CASH, NO CREDIT, PLEASE

“I’LL BE THE FIRST TO ADMIT I MADE THE BEST DEAL POSSIBLE — ROLAND IMMEDIATELY ASSUMES THE POST OF MAJORITY LEADER, AND I GET TO KEEP MY SEAT AT THE KIDDIE TABLE IN THE SENATE CAFETERIA.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Israel, Gaza, Grief, and Victimhood.

More reason for Congress’ low approval ratings, at All Hat No Cattle.

The Daily Show weighs in with Crisis in the Senate, at One Good Move.

As the Bush Reign of Error comes to a close, Dan Kurtzman has Top 25 Bush Comedy Videos and The 50 Dumbest Bush Quotes of All Time.

“I’M VERY PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE MY APPOINTMENT TO FILL BARACK OBAMA’S SENATE SEAT: PATRICK J. FITZGERALD.” 

“EVEN RICHARD NIXON IS TURNING OVER IN HIS GRAVE.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Blagojevich’s Delusional Senate Appointment.

Dubya’s New Year’s Resolution, at All Hat No Cattle.

“I OUTSMARTED THEM AGAIN – HOW THEY GONNA’ REJECT A CHICACO CUB IN THIS TOWN. BESIDES, IF HE GETS TIRED, I CAN ALWAYS COME IN TO RELIEVE HIM.”

“FORGET THE OLD MAN GIVING WAY TO THE BABY, THIS YEAR IT’S THE MAN-CHILD GIVING WAY TO THE MAN.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Lisa Casey on the Backwards Christian Soldier.

And speaking of Bush-Damage, Where Was George H. W. Bush on November 22, 1963 – at BuzzFlash.

Obama: “I Agree” With Senate Dems On Not Seating Burris - at TPM Election Central.

Citing ‘Change’ Over ‘Experience,’ Angry Electorate Votes to Replace God

‘3 A.M. Phone Call Ad’ Wins Hillary the Presidency, of OnStar

Baseball Decrees the Steroid Age the ‘Shrunken Ball Era’

The Legend of Fred Thompson: A Politician Turned Actor Who Couldn’t Play a Candidate on TV

Evangelicals Claim Prop 8 Protects the Sanctity of Marriages Performed by Elvises in Vegas Chapels

Accused in Hate Crime Plea Bargains Down to ‘Spite’

Famed Photog Annie Leibovitz Uses Negatives to Capture McCain’s Campaign

Iraq Celebrates 5th Anniversary by Re-Gifting Democracy

Rudy Giuliani Reveals His Feet Are Two Different Sizes: a ‘9′ and an ‘11′

Co-Founder of Slinky Dies, After Falling Down Steps

Pollsters Admit Flaws in Methodology: ‘Exit Polls’ Conducted at Entrances

Sarah Palin Touts Her Experience as a ‘Closet Organizer’

Satirists Riot Over The New Yorker Obama Cartoon

Americans Strongly Believe in God, But One That Only Controls the Outcome of Sporting Events

Due to Snowstorm, Premature Ejaculation Clinic Operating on a 5 Minute Delay

Huckabee Declares He’s Ready to be President From ‘Day Six,’ Literally

Spitzer Scandal Spurs Call for Reform: Public Financing of Hookers

Christian Right Condemns Gay Adoption of Highways

FOX News Blames Obama for Nigerian Spam

Time-Life Issues the Definitive Collection of ‘Bush Scandals’

Sarah Palin Establishes a New ‘Crack in the WOODEN FLOOR’

Stood Up by ‘Joe the Plumber,’ McCain Campaigns with ‘Janitor in a Drum’

Iraqi Shoe Thrower Receives a ‘Seinfeld Sentence’ — Has to Serve as Bush’s Butler (and Shoeshine man)

A Sign of the Times: E*Trade Baby Leaps to Death From His Crib

McCain Claims ‘Multiple House Story’ Helps Him With Mormons

Sarah Palin Takes Phone Call from Napoleon Bonaparte

U.S. Finally Greeted as Liberators, by Wall Street

Lesson Learned: Auto Executives Make Return Trip to D.C. in Flintstones Car

An Ominous Sign for the GOP: Even Mars Turns Blue

Bush’s ‘Mission Accomplished’ Finally Realized: Iraq in Better Shape Than U.S.

Sarah Palin’s Greatest ‘Gift’ to America: Ruining Thanksgiving

Treasury Gives Bailout to Sperm Banks, to Inject Liquidity Into Frozen Markets

Blagojevich, Preparing for the Worst, Plans to Sell His Own ‘Seat’ in Jail

Conspiracy Theory of ‘Second Shoe Thrower’ Raised by Abdul-liver Stone

Bernie Madoff’s Fraud Reaches Beyond Jewish Community: Ran Pyramid Scheme in Egypt

House of Tudor Lays Claim to Vacant NY Senate Seat

Cheney Voices Concern Biden Will Diminish the ‘Vice’ in Vice Presidency

GOP Realizes Its Worst Nightmare: Black Man Elected to Lead U.S. Out of The Dark Ages

“THOSE NEW YORKERS MAY HAVE LEGACIES IN A GOVERNOR, AND TWO SENATE CANDIDATES VYING TO REPLACE THE WIFE OF A FORMER PRESIDENT, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO NEPOTISM, I’M TAKING THINGS TO A WHOLE … ‘NOTHER … LEVEL.”  

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Video of BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the media, Blagojevich and systemic corruption.

Latest on the Wasilla Hillbillies, at All Hat No Cattle.

Dan Kurtzman with The 25 Dumbest Political Quotes of 2008.

“WE HAVE VIDEOTAPED PROOF THAT THE E*TRADE BABY WAS USING A FAKE VOICE, DIVERTING INVESTMENT FUNDS TO PARTY CLOWNS, AND BUNDLING SOILED DIAPERS AS COLLATERALIZED SECURITIES.”  

“IT WAS LIKE, SO EASY … THE SEC WAS CARRYING A BIGGER LOAD OF SHIT THAN I WAS.”

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And P.M. Carpenter asks if Patrick Fitzgerald is guilty of premature E*Blagolation, while Madkane asks Why Caroline Kennedy?