“WE CHINESE HAVE FINALLY FOUND A U.S. PRODUCT TO IMPORT THAT CAN LEVEL OFF THE TRADE IMBALANCE, BUT WE WILL HAVE TO BUY UP MORE ONE DOLLAR BILLS.”

“LET’S FACE IT, IF RONALD REAGAN HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO CONFRONT HU JINTAO, MENUS IN CHINESE RESTAURANTS WOULD NO LONGER BE DIVIDED BETWEEN ‘COLUMN A’ AND ‘COLUMN B’.”

[Historical Note: Ronald Reagan did visit China in 1984.]

“IT SEEMS TO ME THAT IF YOUR COUNTRY IS TO MAKE A GREAT LEAP FORWARD, IT NEEDS TO BIND THE FEET OF PALIN, BECK AND LIMBAUGH, AND THEN STUFF THEM IN THEIR OWN MOUTHS.”