The Satirical Political Report » hosni mubarak

Arab Street to Cairo: Can You Spare a Tahrir Square?

Don Davis — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 01:15:37 +0000

SYRIA:

Uh, excuse me, this is kind of embarrassing, but there’s no DEMOCRACY over here.

EGYPT:

Are you talking to me?

SYRIA:

Yeah … I just forgot to check, so if you could just spare me some Tahrir Square.

EGYPT:

No I’m sorry, I can’t spare any Tahrir Square.

SYRIA:

You can’t spare it??

EGYPT:

No there’s not enough Tahrir Square to spare.

SYRIA:

Well I don’t need much, just 3 square feet of Tahrir Square will do it.

EGYPT:

I’m sorry I don’t have any Tahrir Square to spare, now if you don’t mind.

SYRIA:

3 square feet of Tahrir Square? you can’t spare even 3 square feet?

EGYPT:

No I don’t have any square feet of Tahrir Square to spare … since we still need all of the Square to prevent the Egyptian Military from wiping out our ass!

Mubarak Offered Asylum by Steve Martin, In a Condo Made of Stone-a

Don Davis — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 04:42:34 +0000

King Mu-barak� (King Mu-barak)
Now when he was an old man,
He never thought he’d see
People stand in line, to see the tyrant leave

(King Mu-barak) Abusive power junkie
(Junkie Mu-barak) Egyptian backs now shed their monkey
Born along the Nile,
Now he’s in Exile (King Mubarak).

Mubarak Transfers Power to VP, Citing Precedent of Bush-Cheney

Don Davis — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 02:01:51 +0000

“I’M 83 YEARS OLD, IT’S ABOUT TIME I LET SOMEONE ELSE DO THE DIRTY WORK OF TRASHING DEMOCRACY AND SAFEGUARDING CORPORATE ABUSES.”

Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Only Six More DAYS of Mubarak

Don Davis — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 15:58:16 +0000

“WE’VE SEEN THIS ‘MOVIE’ BEFORE, THERE’S NOT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THIS GUY WON’T LAST ANOTHER SIX WEEKS!

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Mubarak and America’s Corporate Cable Companies Have Something in Common: Banning Al Jazeera.

Mubarak’s Latest Faux Pas Really Seals His Fate

Don Davis — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 03:32:27 +0000

“AND AS FOR THE TEEMING MASSES OF POOR EGYPTIAN PEOPLE, LET THEM EAT …� UNLEAVENED BREAD.”

Michele Bachmann Delivers Tea Party Address to Egyptian Protestors

Don Davis — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 23:59:10 +0000

“YOU’RE A PROUD AND GREAT PEOPLE WHOSE PHARAOH NOT ONLY WORKED OUT THE ISSUE OF HEBREW SLAVERY, BUT ALSO INVENTED THE CONDOM.”

John Boehner Cries Over U.S.-Made Tear Gas in Egypt

Don Davis — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 17:34:29 +0000

“IT JUST MAKES ME ‘TEAR UP,’ TO KNOW THAT I GREW UP IN A COUNTRY THAT COULD MAKE AN ENTIRE FOREIGN COUNTRY ‘TEAR UP’.”

Egypt’s Prez Vows to ‘Reform,’ as Hosni More-Barack

Don Davis — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 04:20:25 +0000

“I’LL NOT ONLY BE REACTIVATING THE INTERNET, BUT USING SOCIAL MEDIA TO� POST ALL MY BEATINGS, TORTURE, SHOOTINGS AND HOUSE ARRESTS.”

“WE STRONGLY CONDEMN ANY VIOLENCE AGAINST THE EGYPTIAN PEOPLE … BUT TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST,‘HOUSE ARRESTS‘ DON’T SEEM LIKE SUCH A BAD IDEA.”

Obama in Egypt, Pulls a ‘Reverse Moses’

Don Davis — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 13:26:53 +0000

“NOW, UNLIKE THE ISRAELITES, WHO TOLD YOUR PHARAOH TO ‘LET MY PEOPLE GO,’ I’M ASKING YOU TO TAKE SOME OF OUR PEOPLE, INCLUDING O’REILLY, RUSH AND NEWT.”

“OY, THIS WOULD BE WORSE THAN THE ORIGINAL TEN PLAGUES.”