“THERE HAS TO BE A MIDDLE GROUND BETWEEN WHITE COPS WHO ARE STUPIDLY SEEKING GOLF TIPS, AND THE WORLD’S BEST GOLFER WHO IS MERELY GUILTY OF DRIVING WHILE BLACKED-OUT.”

“MR. PRESIDENT, DO YOU THINK THE NFL AND PHILADELPHIA EAGLES ‘ACTED STUPIDLY’ IN LETTING MICHAEL VICK BACK INTO THE LEAGUE?”

“GENTLEMAN, SINCE THIS MEETING SEEMS TO BE GOING SO WELL, WHY DON’T WE BUILD ON THIS BY BRINGING YOU GUYS BACK, ALONG WITH O.J SIMPSON AND MARK FUHRMAN.”

“IF ANYONE IS BOTH AN EXAMPLE OF BRIDGING THIS DIVIDE, AND CAN ALSO FIGURE OUT A MATHEMATICAL MODEL TO ABOLISH RACIAL STEREOTYPING AND CLASS PREJUDICES, IT WOULD HAVE TO BE THAT OUTSTANDING YOUNG MAN FROM ‘GOOD WILL HUNTING’.”

“HA-VAD PROFESSOR’S ULTRA-SENSITIVITY + SOUTHIE COP’S EGO + PRESIDENT’S LOOSE LIPS = WICKED PISSAH.”

“I TOLD THEM THAT THE ‘PERP WALK’ RUINED THEIR PERFECT GAME, BUT AT LEAST THEY DIDN’T PUT A HURTIN’ ON THE OLE’ PROFESSOR.”

“I’LL FIRST NEED TO CHECK THE BIRTH CERTIFICATES OF BOTH THE PRESIDENT AND PROFESSOR GATES, TO ENSURE THERE’S NO UNDER-AGE DRINKING … FOLLOWED BY A PAT-DOWN FOR WEAPONS AND DRUGS.”

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Correcting a conservative red herring, on health-care reform, by P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash.

And Lewis Black’s Daily Show rant on Healthcare Reform, via One Good Move.

Dan Kurtzman’s Political Cartoons of the Week.

“I TELL YOU, ELIZA, THERE I WAS, JUST MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS, IN MY ROOM SOMEWHERE, FAR AWAY FROM THE COLD NIGHT AIR…. BESIDES, WHAT IN BLOODY HELL WERE THESE COPS DOING IN CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND?”

“UNDER MY NEW PLAN, BOTH WHITES AND BLACKS WILL HAVE EQUAL ACCESS TO HOUSE CALLS … FROM THE POLICE.”

 

“I GOTTA’ HAND IT TO THE PROFESSOR, THE OLD GUY CAN REALLY HANDLE A ’94 FORD BRONCO AROUND TIGHT HOSPITAL CORNERS.”

 

“WE SAID, ‘SIR, WE’RE NOT BUYING THAT FAKE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. NOW PLEASE STEP OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE, WE’RE BOOKING YOU ON DCWB — DRIVING THE COUNTRY WHILE BLACK’.”