The Satirical Political Report

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February 25th, 2010

John McCain at Health Care Summit: ‘Have C-Span Cover My Prostate Exam’

“NOW, JOHN, I REALIZE YOU’D RATHER HAVE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE LOOK UP YOUR ASS THAN LISTEN TO WHAT ACTUALLY COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, BUT EITHER WAY, YOU’RE JUST FULL OF SHIT.”

February 24th, 2010

GOP Responds to Anthony Weiner’s Scathing Attack

“BASED ON HIS  SCURRILOUS CHARGES THAT REPUBLICANS ARE MERELY WHOLLY-OWNED SUBSIDIARIES OF INSURANCE COMPANIES, WE NOW PROPOSE LEGISLATION TO REQUIRE MR. WEINER TO GET A ‘REFERRAL’ BEFORE SPEAKING, TO PAY OUT-OF-POCKET FOR THE HOUSE PODIUM AND MICROPHONE, AND TO EXPEL HIM FOR THE PRE-EXISTING CONDITION OF HAVING BALLS AND A BRAIN.”

Video here:

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BuzzFlash on Anthem’s Rate Hikes:  Ordinary Americans Are Better at Selling Healthcare Reform Than Democrats.

One Good Move with The Daily Show on the Regressive Mr. Beck.

Bush v. Crist, at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane’s Ode To GOP Stimulus Hypocrisy.


December 23rd, 2009

Obama, Senate Dems Explain Why ‘Public Option’ Unnecessary

“THAT’S RIGHT, MR. PRESIDENT. BY THE TIME THE HEALTH CARE BILL TAKES EFFECT, EVERYBODY, AND I MEAN EVERYBODY, WILL ACTUALLY BE ELIGIBLE FOR MEDICARE.”

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BuzzFlash Analysis: Prosperous Hospitals and Insurance Companies Thriving on Eve of ‘Healthcare Reform.’

Lisa Casey on the Army’s lack of a pubic option.

Norm Jenson on the Chinese co-option of Copenhagen.

Grading the Prez, at BartCopE!

December 22nd, 2009

To Obstruct Health Bill’s Xmas Deadline, GOP Plans to Kidnap Santa Claus

“SINCE SENATOR McCAIN HAS BEEN GRACIOUS ENOUGH TO GIVE UP ALL HIS PRINCIPLES IN OUR FIGHT AGAINST HEALTH CARE REFORM, HE’LL BE IN CHARGE OF NOT ONLY THE ACTUAL KIDNAP OPERATION, BUT ALSO TORTURING THE FAT BASTARD.”


December 21st, 2009

To Get Ben Nelson’s Health Care Vote, Nebraska To Receive Kansas

“IT’S BEING CALLED THE ‘NEW KANSAS-NEBRASKA ACT.’ WE’LL ALL BE ENSLAVED TO THE INSURANCE COMPANIES, AND THERE’LL BE A HELLUVA’ LOTTA’ BLEEDING.”

December 17th, 2009

Al ‘Stuart Smalley’ Franken Makes Joe Lieberman ‘Smalley’

“YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH, YOU’RE NOT SMART ENOUGH, AND DOGGONIT, PEOPLE HATE YOU …  SO SHUT UP!”

Video at HuffPost.

December 17th, 2009

Senate Health Care Compromise Recommended By One Out of Five Doctors

“WE’RE JUST CONCERNED THE GOP IS NOW GONNA’ GET SOME IDEAS FROM THIS, AND START EXERCISING FILIBUSTERS WITH JUST 20% OF THE VOTES.”

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Dave Lindorff at BuzzFlash: Kill the Dems’ Health ‘Reform’ Bill Before It Comes to Life!

Jon Perr on Dana Perino’s selective memory.

BartCopE! with the best of the latest Mashups.

October 17th, 2009

The Empire Blue Cross Strikes Back

       It is a dark time for the Health Care Reformers.  Although the Insurance Company Death Panels have been destroyed, Insurance Lobbyists and Blue Dogs have driven the Reform forces from their Congressional offices and pursued them across the Washington Mall. 
      Evading the dreaded Imperial Republicans, a group of public option freedom fighters led by Ron Wyden and Nancy Pelosi have established a new secret base in one of Keith Olbermann’s health clinics in the remote ice world of Mt. Olympia Snowe.
    The evil lord Mitch McConnell, obsessed with filibustering health reform, has dispatched thousands of remote anal probe examinations with hefty co-pays and deductibles into the far reaches of Democratic sphincters ….

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Jon Perr on how Americans are already self-rationing health care.

Lisa Casey on the fall, and fall, of the Republican Party.

Check out Marty’s excellent entertainment page at BartCopE!

October 1st, 2009

GOP Supports Public Option for Fetuses, to Expire at Birth

“OF COURSE WE WANT TO PROVIDE INSURANCE FOR THE UNBORN CHILD, BUT ANY HEALTH PROBLEMS THAT OCCUR AFTERWARDS HAVE TO BE EXCLUDED AS ARISING FROM THE PRE-EXISTING CONDITION OF BIRTH.”

September 30th, 2009

GOP Attacks Rep. Grayson with Cult – Blue Oyster Cult

 

Health Reform … is done
Here, but now it’s gone
Romeo and Juliet
Could not afford their sky-high premium
40,000 men and women every year
40,000 men and women every year
Come on baby … don’t fear the reaper
Baby take my hand … don’t fear the reaper
We’ll be able to die … don’t fear the reaper
Insurance companies, I’m your man …

Grayson 

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John McCain on Afghanistan at All Hat No Cattle.

BartCopE! on the new television season.

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