“THE AMERICAN PEOPLE CLEARLY VOTED US IN TO REPEAL ANY TYPE OF ARTIFICIAL POPULATION CONTROL MEASURES, LIKE THEY HAVE IN COMMUNIST COUNTRIES LIKE CHINA.”

“IF WE HAD OUR WAY,  WE’D NOT ONLY STRANGLE HEALTH CARE REFORM, BUT MAKE ‘STRANGULATION’ ITSELF THE ONLY PRE-EXISTING CONDITION COVERED BY INSURANCE.”

“THE STATE BOARD OF MEDICINE RULED THAT IF I WAS  GOING TO TREAT ONLY REPUBLICAN ASSHOLES, I’D BETTER SPECIALIZE IN TREATING ASSHOLES.”

Story at Crooks & Liars.

“ABOUT THE ONLY CHANCE WE HAVE TO RISE ‘HEAD AND SHOULDERS’ ABOVE THE DEMOCRAT PARTY  …  IS TO BLIND THE AMERICAN PUBLIC WITH SHAMPOO IN THEIR EYES.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Send The White Christian Domestic Terrorists to Guantanamo.

BartCopE! on the Teabag Terrorism.

“THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FROM A FOREIGN-BORN PRESIDENT WHO FOLLOWS THE MAYAN CALENDAR, WHEN EVERYONE KNOWS HIS MERE ELECTION SIGNALLED THE END OF THE WORLD.”

“IN OUR CASE, WE DON’T EVEN NEED A TIE. EVEN WHEN WE GET OUR BUTTS KICKED, THE GAME GOES ON AND ON AND ON ….”

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Lisa Casey on the GOP giving Jesus a new cross to bear.

Dan Kurtzman with The 10 Best Jokes About Health Care Reform.

“TOO MANY FOLKS, PARTICULARLY YOUNG PEOPLE WITH BRAINS, REFUSE TO VOLUNTARILY BUY INTO OUR BULLSHIT, SO WE’RE GONNA’ MAKE THEM JOIN OUR COW MANURE EXCHANGES, AND EVEN GIVE THEM TAX CREDITS FOR IT.”

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Ann Davidow at BuzzFlash: The Only Major Skill Republicans Have is Mythmaking.

Norm Jenson on the Tea Party circus and God-Given Healthcare.

“WE KNOW THAT EXECUTIVE ORDERS ARE EASILY RESCINDED, BUT IT’LL HURT LIKE A SONUVABITCH FOR OBAMA TO REMOVE A TATTOO OF A FAT F**KER LIKE HENRY HYDE.”

“AFTER WATCHING TOO MANY TV LAND RERUNS OF LEAVE IT TO BEAVER, OUR BASE THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BEAT UP ON THE CLEAVER.”

Story here.

“THEY SCREAMED AT ME THAT THEY DIDN’T HAVE THE MANPOWER TO INSULT ALL OF US INDIVIDUALLY, AND THAT THEY WERE LOOKING TO ESTABLISH A NEW LEVEL OF EFFICIENCY THAT BIG GOVERNMENT COULD NEVER PROVIDE.”