“AND IF WE ALSO ENCIRCLE THE EARTH WITH ALL OF THESE NEANDERTHAL RIGHT-WINGERS, WE JUST MIGHT BE ABLE TO PLUG ALL THE HOLES IN THE OZONE LAYER, AS WELL AS SCARE AWAY INVADING ALIENS.”

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The John Thune Cartoon:

“SINCE SENATORS CORKER AND SHELBY OPPOSED MY REQUEST FOR A LOAN, LOOKS LIKE THE PRESENTS THIS YEAR ARE GONNA’ BE DELIVERED BY A FLEET OF TOYOTA TACOMAS.”

“IT’S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE — WE’D ALSO LIKE TO FUCK OVER THE WHOLE COUNTRY.”