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“ACCORDING TO THE SCOUTMASTERS FOR BOTH REPRESENTATIVES PETE SESSIONS AND MIKE FITZPATRICK, THE BOYS WERE OTHERWISE MODEL SCOUTS, BUT SIMPLY COULD NOT BRING THEMSELVES TO COMMIT … TO HELPING OLD LADIES ACROSS THE STREET.”
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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Boehner’s Fundamentalist Sharia View on the Constitution.
One Good Move with The Daily Show’s Let’s All Stand on John McCain’s Lawn.
Ralph Nader and Other Recommended Readings, at BartCopE!
“IT CHOKES ME UP TO THINK JUST HOW FAR I’VE REALLY COME: FROM WIELDING A MOP IN THE BACK OF A STORE, TO SWINGING A SLEDGEHAMMER TO MOP UP THE FLOOR WITH THE MIDDLE CLASS.”
“IN ORDER TO PROVIDE SOME COUNTER-BALANCE TO OUR READING OF THOSE AMENDMENTS ENDING SLAVERY AND PROVIDING EQUAL RIGHTS, WE PICKED OUT SOMETHING TO ALLOW US TO USE THE ‘N WORD’ AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.”
“WE’RE CRAZY, DREAMING ON, LIVIN’ ON THE EDGE, PLAYING ON THE SWEET EMOTION OF OUR BASE, AND ACTING LIKE THE BLIND MAN TRYING TO SELL THE SAME OLD SONG AND DANCE, SO WE CAN GET THE AMERICAN PEOPLE TO WALK THIS WAY OVER THE CLIFF.”
“AY! YA’ KNOW WHAT I MEAN … AND HERE’S A REAL POPULAR TOY THAT THE REPUBLICANS WANT TO GIVE EVERY AMERICAN KID — IT’S CALLED BAG-O-GLASS.”
The Real skit here:
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BLOGWORTHIES:
Lisa Casey’s GOP Pyramid Scheme.
P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: GOP Vampires to stalk the airwaves in even greater swarms.
Dan Kurtzman with the rumored Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Flavors for Bush.
“LISTEN, GUYS, NEWT ONLY THREW A HISSY FIT ABOUT BEING IN THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENTIAL PLANE; WE ACTUALLY WENT ONE STEP FURTHER AND JUMPED OUT … WITHOUT A PARACHUTE.”
Story at NY Times.
“NEVER LET IT BE SAID, AT THIS TIME OF NATIONAL CRISIS, THAT THE GOP MERELY SAT ON THEIR HANDS.”
1. Re-sod Guantanamo.
2. Free sterilization of minorities.
3. All state aid in the form of loans — to be paid back to the “Republican National Committee.”
4. “Jet Stamps” — for corporate CEOs.
5. Expand Electric Grid, to facilitate comeback of the electric chair.
6. Mass transit funds — to deport “illegals.”
7. Tax credits for purchases of semi-automatic weapons.
8. Coupons for conversion of analog TV — to Rush Limbaugh radio.
9. Infrastructure spending — erect ten-story ‘Ten Commandments’ in every state capital.
10. Supplemental infrastructure spending — erect world’s largest solar panel directly over Nancy Pelosi’s office.
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BLOGWORTHIES:
Keeping in the spirit, P.M. Carpenter with Naked Republican Goons 33 1/3: The Final Insult, and Madkane says No Quid? No Quo!.
Lisa Casey on the rush to genuflect before Rush.
A worthwhile John Updike tribute, via One Good Move.
Dan Kurtzman’s latest political satire links.
Juan Cole with the early word on the Provincial Elections in Iraq.
“UNDER AN AMENDMENT TO THE BILL, ANY DISTRICT WHOSE REPRESENTATIVE VOTED AGAINST IT, WILL GET NOTHING BUT A THREE-PACK OF TROJANS AND A BAG OF SOD.”
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