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The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."



January 23rd, 2011

Next Up For GOP House: Vote to Reverse Vasectomies

“THE AMERICAN PEOPLE CLEARLY VOTED US IN TO REPEAL ANY TYPE OF ARTIFICIAL POPULATION CONTROL MEASURES, LIKE THEY HAVE IN COMMUNIST COUNTRIES LIKE CHINA.”

January 19th, 2011

GOP Rejects ‘Job-Killing’ for ObamaCare: Settles on ‘Sleeping With The Fishes’

“IF WE HAD OUR WAY,  WE’D NOT ONLY STRANGLE HEALTH CARE REFORM, BUT MAKE ‘STRANGULATION’ ITSELF THE ONLY PRE-EXISTING CONDITION COVERED BY INSURANCE.”

December 31st, 2010

GOP’s First New Year’s Resolution: Deny Health Care to ‘New Year’s Baby’

“WHAT BETTER WAY TO SEND A MESSAGE OF RUGGED INDIVIDUALISM, AND SET THE TABLE FOR REPEAL OF HEALTH CARE, BY CUTTING OFF GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE AS SOON AS THEY CUT THE UMBILICAL CORD.”

November 19th, 2010
October 31st, 2009

GOP’s Official Halloween Costume – Ronald Reagan Mediscare Mask

“WELL, IF YOU BACK THE DEMOCRAT PARTY TAKEOVER OF HEALTH CARE, WITCHES AND GOBLINS WILL COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR DOCTOR, AND YOUR HALLOWEEN CANDY WILL BE RATIONED TO ONE MINI-MILKY WAY BAR.”

September 30th, 2009

GOP Seeks to ‘Eliminate’ the Public Option for Restrooms

“THE INSURANCE COMPANY LOBBYISTS TELL US THEIR CLIENTS ARE PREPARED TO DEVELOP A SYSTEM OF PRIVATE PAY TOILETS WITH HIGH PREMIUMS, AND IF SOMEONE’S BLADDER HAPPENS TO BURST, COVERAGE WILL SIMPLY BE DENIED AS A PEE-EXISTING CONDITION.”

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The Protect Insurance Companies PSA, at One Good Move.

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: Without public financing of political campaigns, expect endless yesterdays.

September 25th, 2009

Grassley Warns Schumer: Public Option Will Lead to ‘Single Mohel Plan’

“FORGET ABOUT EIGHT DAYS FOR A BRISS, BEFORE THE ONE GOVERNMENT MOHEL GETS AROUND TO YOUR GRANDSON, HE’LL BE AS OLD AS ABRAHAM, AND HAVE TO DO IT HIMSELF.”

Abraham describes circumcision to Zed, Oh & Isaac

“Let me tell ya’, it was so painful, I would’ve preferred insurance company rescission , over self- circumcision.”

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Staying on topic, P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on Another day, more Blue Dog angst.