The Satirical Political Report

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September 12th, 2008

Forget ‘For-eign’ Policy, Attila from Wasilla Knows ‘Far-Out’ Policy

‘I GUESS A SMALL-TOWN MAYOR, IS KINDA’ … LIKE … A VIABLE NATIONAL CANDIDATE … BUT WITH ‘IRRESPONSIBILITY‘.” 

September 7th, 2008

Hollywood Plans Movie if Palin Elected: ‘Four Shotgun Weddings and a Funeral’

“IT’S NOT EASY BEING A BUSY, WORKING, PIT BULL HOCKEY MOM, BUT ATTENDING MY PREGNANT CHILDREN’S EMERGENCY NUPTIALS, AND OLD JOHN’S EMERGENCY FAREWELL, IS ALL IN A GOOD DAY’S WORK.”

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Frank Rich on Palin and McCain’s Shotgun Marriage

BuzzFlash Review of Obama’s Challenge: America’s Economic Crisis and the Power of a Transformative Presidency .

Jon Perr at Crooks & Liars on the infamous McCain temper.

September 7th, 2008

Sarah Palin to Star in Remake of ‘Leave It To Beaver’

“JUST AS JOHN MARRIED A RICH WOMAN TO MAKE HIS LIFE EASIER, THE OLD GUY IS GONNA’ KICK BACK — IF HE DOESN’T KICK THE BUCKET — AND LET THIS PIT BULL HOCKEY MOM BE FIRST IN THIS COUNTRY.”

GEE WALLY, ISN’T IT KINDA’ SWELL WE HAVE A VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE WITH THE PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER OF EDDIE HASKELL.”

September 6th, 2008

McCain Nervous on First ‘Blind Date’: Palin Takes Him to See ‘Woman on Top’

 

“WHAT REALLY GOT ME NERVOUS WAS HER COMMENT THAT SHE SEES HERSELF AS THE NEXT ‘DICK’.”

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Meg White at BuzzFlash on THE REPUBLICAN WAR ON THE WORKING CLASS. 

Political Cartoons of the Week, via Dan Kurtrzman.

Madkane to John McCain: Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

September 6th, 2008

Forget Palin’s Jet, McCain Sold His SOUL on eBay

“I OBVIOUSLY SOLD IT TO THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE, FOR THE PRICE OF THE GOP NOMINATION.”

September 6th, 2008

McCain as George Costanza, in ‘The Opposite Show’

“EVERY INSTINCT I’VE EVER HAD FOR MODERATION AND COMMON-SENSE HAS BEEN WRONG; NOTHING’S EVER WORKED OUT FOR ME IN THE GOP.  SO NOW, I’M GOING TO DO THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE — INSTEAD OF RATIONALITY AND THE ENLIGHTENMENT, I’M GONNA GO WITH BIBLE-THUMPING AND NEANDERTHAL KNOW-NOTHINGNESS.”

“HI, I’M JOHN McCAIN, I’M IGNORANT AND I LIVE IN THE 13th CENTURY.  AND I ACCEPT YOUR NOMINATION FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.”

“JOHN McCAIN IS CHICKEN-SHIT SALAD … THE OPPOSITE OF EVERYTHING THIS COUNTRY SORELY NEEDS.”

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From an old classic to New Rules — Norm Jenson has Bill Maher’s latest.

Juan Cole on McCain’s choice of Palin as cynical and dishonorable, from a conservative GOP woman.

September 5th, 2008

Sarah Palin Rides the ‘Mute Button’ Express

READ MY LIPS — I WON’T BE GIVING ANY INTERVIEWS THAT’LL REVEAL I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I’M TALKING ABOUT.”

September 5th, 2008

McCain’s ‘Seven-Per-Cent Solution’

“SINCE I VOTED WITH BUSH ABOUT 93% OF THE TIME, I MUST’VE BEEN HIGH ON COCAINE, AND IN NEED OF SERIOUS PSYCHOANALYSIS.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Is Sarah Palin a huge problem for Obama or just a news cycle? — at BuzzFlash.

The Daily Show takes on Sarah Palin and the Gender Card, at One Good Move.

Lisa Casey on the dfference between Palin and Cheney.

Dan Kurtzman with the GOP Convention Humor Highlights.

September 5th, 2008

More Nastiness at GOP Convention: McCain’s Mom Calls Joe Biden’s Mom Inexperienced

“AFTER ALL, SHE’S ONLY 90 YEARS OLD, AND ALSO LACKS THE EXPERIENCE OF RAISING A BAD-ASS SON WHO NEVER WOULD’VE EVEN MADE IT THROUGH THE NAVAL ACADEMY IF HIS DADDY AND GRAND-DADDY WEREN’T BIG-SHOT ADMIRALS.”

September 4th, 2008

McCain Explains How His POW Experience Would Shape His Presidency

“MY FRIENDS, EVEN IF I BECOME INCAPACITATED AND UNABLE TO FEED MYSELF … I’LL STILL REFUSE TO LEAVE.”

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