The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."



February 25th, 2011

Glenn Beck Claims Reform Rabbis Perform ‘Lefty’ Circumcisions

“AND AS EVERYONE KNOWS, SINCE MEN THINK WITH THEIR YOU-KNOW-WHATS, THIS WILL ACTUALLY SPAWN A WHOLE GENERATION OF COMMIES AND SOCIALISTS.”

Story here.

February 17th, 2011

Glenn Beck on Bahrain: ‘U.S. Should Seize the Manama Canal’

“LET’S FACE IT, WE BUILT THE DAMN THING WITH OUR OWN BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS. WHY SHOULD WE JUST HAND IT OVER TO A  THUG LIKE ABDUL HASSAN NORIEGA.”

November 26th, 2010

The Right-Wing War on Thanksgiving: Claim Pilgrims Financed Feast With Food Stamps

“AND AFTER THE WELFARE STATE OF PLYMOUTH COMPLETELY BROKE DOWN, AND WAS REDUCED TO A MERE COLONY, THINGS GOT SO BAD THAT THE PILGRIMS HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO TURN TO NAZI SOUP KITCHENS.”


Background at Crooks & Liars.

October 3rd, 2010

Why The NY Times Put Glenn Beck On The Wrong End of Its Magazine

INSTEAD OF THE MAGAZINE’S COVER, HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE BACK, ALONG WITH THE ADS FOR THE PREP SCHOOLS FOR TROUBLED, UNDISCIPLINED AND UNDERACHIEVING CHILDREN.

September 17th, 2010

Why the Jon Stewart Rally To Restore Sanity Will Be ‘X-Rated’

“NOW LISTEN, JON, SINCE CHRISTINE O’DONNELL HAS PROVEN THAT NOT MASTURBATING LEADS TO INSANITY, IT’S PRETTY CLEAR THAT YOU’LL HAVE TO EXPOSE YOURSELF TO EXPOSE THIS TEABAGGER.”


September 11th, 2010

Right Wingers Even Demonstrate Against Mosque Near ’7/11′

NOW THE MUSLIMS WANT TO USE THEIR SHARIA DIETARY LAWS … TO TAKE AWAY OUR HALLOWED GROUND BEEF.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: To Honor Those Who Died on 9/11, Time to Be Moving Forward, Not Wallowing in Vitriol.

The Daily Show’s Weekend at Burnies, at One Good Move.


September 3rd, 2010

Glenn Beck Admits He Held ‘Mein Kampf’ In His Hand

“MY REAL HERO IS THE FOUNDING FATHER OF THE FATHERLAND, WHO INSPIRED ME, AND EVERYONE AT FOX, WITH HIS INVENTION OF GOEBBELS NEWS.”

September 2nd, 2010

National Archives: ‘Glenn Beck Actually Had His Dick In His Hands’

Olbermann Beck

“ACCORDING TO A SPOKESPERSON FOR THE NATIONAL ARCHIVES, GLENN BECK NEVER EVEN HAD AN INTEREST IN  WASHINGTON’S HANDWRITTEN INAUGURAL ADDRESS.  INSTEAD, MR. BECK THOUGHT HIS OWN HAND JOB WAS WORTHY OF INCLUSION AS A NATIONAL TREASURE.”

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Video at  HuffPost.

Oil Reigns Supreme, by Lisa Casey.

M is for Mashup, at BartCopE!

August 27th, 2010

Forget MLK, Glenn Beck’s Lincoln Memorial Rally Even Disgraces Forrest Gump

“LIKE MOMMA ALWAYS SAID, ‘STUPID IS AS GLENN BECK DOES’.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Martin Luther King Had a Dream and Glenn Beck Was Not in It.

Lisa Casey on the growing (like a tumor) tea-party phenomenon.

Compelling video of Dr. King’s calls for social justice, at One Good Move.

August 24th, 2010

Beck and Palin At The Lincoln Memorial: Two Blockheads ON Hallowed Ground

“IT’S LIKE PUTTING AN ABYSMALAMIC CULTURE WAR  CENTER AT THE HEART OF WHAT’S BEST ABOUT AMERICA.”

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Story here.

Our Corrupting Campaign Process, at BuzzFlash.

More evidence of the Culture Wars on the Iraq War, at All Hat No Cattle.

More on the so-called ‘Ground Zero Mosque’ at BartCopE!

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