“NOT ONLY HAVE I BEEN ON TELEVISON EVERY SINGLE WEEK FOR VIRTUALLY THE LAST 30 YEARS, BUT NOT ONCE HAVE I APPEARED AT THE ROUNDTABLE WEARING A PAIR OF PANTS.”

“BY THE END OF TOMORROW, ‘JOE THE PLUMBER’ WILL BE JUST ABOUT THE ONLY WORKING MAN WITH HIS HEAD UP THE CRACK OF HIS ASS.”

“WOLF, HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT GEORGE WILL WEARS THE SAME KIND OF TIE AS LOUIS FARRAKHAN.”

“DESPITE ALL THE CRITICISM BY THE GEORGETOWN COCKTAIL PARTY SET, LET ME BE CLEAR, MY FRIENDS … THE ‘THAT LADY‘ HAS NOT SUNG.”

“FORGET ‘ECONOMICS,’ THE MAN DOESN’T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE INFIELD FLY RULE.”