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The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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November 17th, 2010

Is the ‘Maverick’ Back? John McCain Finds ‘Homophobic’ Way to Justify DADT Repeal

“NOW, IF I WAS STILL IN THE SERVICE, I’D WANT TO KNOW IF THE GUY IN THE NEXT BUNK WAS A HOMOSEXUAL, SO I COULD MAKE PLANS  TO SLEEP IN MY BODY ARMOR.”

February 2nd, 2010

Who DADT Dere Gonna Beat THIS ‘Ain’t’

JOHN McCAIN

JOHN McCAIN

“I’M SO EMBARRASSED BY MY HYPOCRISY ON ‘DON’T ASK DON’T TELL, THAT I SHOULD REALLY BE WEARING PLASTIC INSTEAD OF PAPER.”

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P.M, Carpenter at BuzzFlash on GOP Overconfidence.

Lisa Casey on the latest Palin Shenanigans.

January 21st, 2010

Cindy McCain Endorses Gay Marriage, For Herself!

ONCE JOHN GOT OFF THE STRAIGHT-TALK EXPRESS, HE DROVE ME TO GO ONE STEP FURTHER.”

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Lisa Casey on the McCain women.

December 15th, 2009

Houston’s Lesbian Mayor, Annise Parker, Explains Her Stunning Victory

“TO DEMONSTRATE MY TEXAS ROOTS, I CAMPAIGNED ON THE MOTTO THAT I’M A REAL ‘BUSH,’ AND RODE A COW INSTEAD OF A BULL.  NOW, IF I WAS ONLY VESTED WITH THE POWER AS  MAYOR TO PRESIDE OVER MY OWN WEDDING.”

July 22nd, 2009

John Thune: ‘Concealed Weapons Don’t Kill, Gay Spouses Do’

“UNDER MY CONCEALED WEAPONS BILL, THE ONLY THING THAT PEOPLE WILL BE ALLOWED TO HAVE UP THEIR ASS IS A GUN.”

Cliff Schecter at Crooks & Liars on Have Gun Will Travel.