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The Satirical Political Report

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February 6th, 2009

GOP Senators Seek to Delay Stimulus Bill, So They Can LISTEN to the Audio Version

“MADAME PRESIDENT, I’D LIKE A CHANCE TO ACTUALLY HEAR THE BILL, SET AGAINST THE BACKGROUND OF NEW AGE MUSIC, AND THE BURNING OF AROMATIC CANDLES.”

February 6th, 2009

Centrist ‘Gang of 20′ Senators Took Instructions From Rumsfeld

Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman, I-Conn., Sen. Ben Nelson, D-Neb., and Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, after a meeting of Senate moderates on the economic stimulus bill being considered in the Senate on February 5, 2009

“RUMMY ADVISED THAT THE STIMULUS PACKAGE HAVE LESS MONEY THAN WAS LOOTED IN OUR FIRST WEEK OCCUPYING BAGHDAD.”

“One of the ‘knowns’ we know is that I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.”