“WHILE CAPS ON VEAL PARMIGIANA AND RISOTTO REMAIN TO BE NEGOTIATED, AT LEAST WE’VE ANSWERED THE SKEPTICS WHO REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MEATBALLS ARE CAUSED BY HUMAN ACTIVITY.”

10. Biggest threat to Amazon Rainforests: Printouts of Email strings.

9. Widespread perception that the problem “is not the heat, but the humidity.”

8. Energy demands soar by proliferation of water-skiing squirrels.

7. The battle of the next decade: Water Conservation vs. The Mercy Flush.

6. Chinese limit verification procedures to inspection of their Fortune Cookies.

5. Methane emissions spin out-of-control after publication of Thomas Friedman’s next book: The World is Flatulent.

4. Without major subsidies, Bigfoot refuses to reduce his carbon footprint.

3 . Excessive heat generated by Americans screaming over the phone at Indians in Bangalore call centers.

2. Cap and trade results in credit default swaps of polar bears.

1. Failure to place a  punitive tax on the ‘fossil fools’ who deny global warming.

Senators Inhofe and Coburn

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on The Obama Factor. Republican Presidents United Democrats: Democratic Presidents Divide Us.

Lisa Casey on the meltdown of Chuck Norris.

“YES, SENATOR, THIS SHOULD PROVE THAT WE’RE READY, WILLING AND ABLE TO GET BACK ON OUR FEET, ALTHOUGH WE CAN’T IMMEDIATELY WEAN OURSELVES OFF FOSSIL FUELS.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Guess Who’s Still Crazy After All These Years, by Lisa Casey.

Now Hiring: No Grudges in Barack Obama’s HR Approach – at BuzzFlash.

Sweeping Bush Rule to Limit Abortion, Birth Control Access, at Perrspectives.