The Satirical Political Report

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January 12th, 2010

Foreign Policy Experts: Sarah Palin Should Be Split Into ‘North’ and ‘South’

Richard Haas

Richard Haass, Council on Foreign Relations

“IT’S NOT THAT WE REALLY WANT TWO SARAH PALINS, BUT WE FEEL WE MIGHT DIMINISH HER THREAT BY DIVIDING HER AT HER 38TH PARALLEL.”

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Lisa Casey on the perfect marriage between FOX and Palin.

October 28th, 2008

Joe the Plumber Claims HE’D Be Best for Israel

“SINCE EVERYONE KNOWS THE JEWS AIN’T TOO HANDY, I COULD MAKE AT LEAST $250K OVER THERE, JUST SHOWIN ‘EM HOW TO JIGGLE THE TOILET HANDLE.”

Story at Huffington Post.

September 28th, 2008

Kissinger Clarifies His Position: PALIN Should NEVER Meet With Foreign Leaders

“VE BELIEVE ZAT SUCH A MOVE VOULD NOT ONLY BE NAIVE AND DANGEROUS, BUT VOULD ALSO VIOLATE ZE GENEVA CONVENTION’S BAN ON TORTURING FOREIGN NATIONALS.”

September 24th, 2008

Afghan Prez Karzai Educates This ‘Heroin’

“IN MY COUNTRY, EVEN THE TALIBAN ALLOWS WOMEN TO BE SEEN AND HEARD MORE THAN YOU.” 

September 24th, 2008

More Leaks from the Kissinger-Palin Summit

“SARAH, SINCE I CAN SEE YOUR BUTT FROM MY CHAIR, I MUST DECLARE: ‘PIECE OF ASS IS AT HAND’.”

September 23rd, 2008

A Secret Transcript From the Kissinger-Palin Meeting

“SARAH, JUST TO SHOW I VILL TREAT YOU NO DIFFERENTLY THAN RICHARD NIXON, PRAY-TELL, VILL YOU PLEASE GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES?”

September 18th, 2008

Forget Palin, McCain is Not Even Eliza Doolittle

THE COUNTRY OF SPAIN … IS MAINLY … IN LATIN AMERICA.” 

“I THINK HE’S GOT IT. I THINK HE’S GOT IT.”

Sam Stein at HuffPost with the background.

And Dan Kurtzman has Palin By The Numbers.

Update: McCain Clarifies his Position on Spain.

September 13th, 2008

Palin Asserts She’ll Do Better Than McCain with Whoopi and Barbara

“CHARLIE, I CAN DEAL WITH THOSE WOMEN, BECAUSE IN MY GOVERNOR’S OFFICE, I HAVE A VIEW OF ‘THE VIEW’.”

September 12th, 2008

Forget ‘For-eign’ Policy, Attila from Wasilla Knows ‘Far-Out’ Policy

‘I GUESS A SMALL-TOWN MAYOR, IS KINDA’ … LIKE … A VIABLE NATIONAL CANDIDATE … BUT WITH ‘IRRESPONSIBILITY‘.” 

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