"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."
“OK, CLASS, THIS SOCIETY SIMPLY CAN’T TOLERATE A COOL, RATIONAL, THOUGHTFUL INDIVIDUAL. SO FOR LESSON NUMBER ONE, PLEASE LEAN YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR WINDOW AND SHOUT: I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M GOING TO TWITTER ABOUT IT.”
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Letterman Takes on Obama’s Critics, via Dan Kurtzman.
Lisa Casey on the latest Jindal common-sense swindle.
Madkane on an Email Swiped From Dick Cheney’s In-Box.
“AS LONG AS THEY INSIST ON TAXING OUR BONUSES, WE’RE GONNA’ THROW THE TARP MONEY INTO THE EAST RIVER.”
Meg White at BuzzFlash strikes a similar chord with Tea Party Tantrums.
Lisa Casey on Buying Toxic Assets.
In perhaps the ultimate sign that the reckless behavior of Wall Street is exacting an “historic” toll, the Borough of Manhattan, originally purchased by the Dutch from the Indians 400 years ago, was today sold back to the same Native-American tribe.
Most shockingly, the price was also the same — $24 — although given the strength of the Indian bargaining position, they did not have to pay cash, but only toxic stockpiles of “corn derivatives,” also known as ethanol.
Perhaps fittingly, while the seller in such transactions typically springs for the celebratory lunch, in this case, the contracting parties went ”Dutch treat.”
Although the tribe indicated that the entire island of Manhattan would be turned into one giant gambling casino, most financial experts agreed that this represented an improvement in “risk management” over the business practices of the last ten years.
Disgraced AIG executives lost no time in shifting their focus, immediately seeking hiring bonuses from the new Native-American owners of Manhattan. One former AIG trader even claimed that he had a brand new idea for “poker chip default swaps,” to insure that there would never be any losses resulting from sub-prime gamblers.
On CNBC, Jim Cramer commented that he was “sitting bullish” about the deal, and that in addition to the gaming industry, he was optimistic that this deal would even be able to resuscitate “Running Bear Stearns.”
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BLOGWORTHIES:
P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on the Deficit Bogeyman under your bed.
Norm Jenson with The Sunday Funnies and Bill Maher’s New Rules.
Pick your poison, between Congress and AIG, at All Hat No Cattle.
Madkane’s Fume About Hume.
“OF COURSE, WE’LL ALSO HAVE TO THROW IN A COUPLE OF BILLION DOLLARS, TO COMPENSATE THE ABORIGINAL TRIBES FOR THE COST OF TRYING TO CIVILIZE THESE AIG SAVAGES.”
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Lisa Casey with AIG’s latest Ad Campaign.
Meg White at BuzzFlash: AIG Bonuses are Not the Real Problem: We Need to Fire the Bastards.
Dan Kurtzman with the complete roundup of Bailout Jokes.
Samantha’s Bee Money Honey Bee, at One Good Move.
“NOW, YOU GOTTA’ GO OUT AND BUY SHARES OF JON STEWART — THE ONLY ONE WHO’S GOT THE BALLS TO LAY ‘BARE’ THE ‘BULLSHIT’ THAT MY FELLOW COMMENTATORS AND I HAVE BEEN TOSSING OUT OVER THE LAST YEAR.”
BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with kudos to Jon Stewart: Devastates CNBC and Its Destructive Boosterism of Failed Wall Street Scams.
Norm Jenson has the Stewart skewer of CNBC here.
“THEY PROMISED ME 10% ANNUAL RETURNS, AND A CHANCE TO MEET JESSICA RABBIT.”
“THIS MAY BE THE FIRST CASE WHERE THE THE PRIVATE SECTOR STIMULATES THE GOVERNMENT. AND THE FIRST CASE WHERE WE FINALLY STIMULATE REAL BIPARTISANSHIP.”
[Lisa Casey weighs in with Wall St. Whineries.]
“ANDERSON, MADOFF SOMEHOW CONNED ALL THE OLD FARTS INTO BELIEVING THAT THEY’D BECOME COOL, JUST BY BUYING A MOTORCYLE AND LEATHER JACKET FROM HIM.”
“HERE’S A SONG I THINK YOU KIDS WILL REALLY ENJOY — AND YOUR MOM AND I AGREE IT’S EDUCATIONAL TOO”:
Bush, the magic drag-on, the lame GOP
Bollixed his whole Presidency, in a land called Iraqi
Little Dickie Cheney, loved to play real rough
Pulled Dubya’s strings and sealed his fate with a lotta’ made-up stuff
Bush, the magic drag-on, a sound economy
Let Wall Street crooks have their way, with complete autonomy
Little Hankie Paulson, lookin’ not so sharp
Can’t find the funds that he doled out, hidden by a TARP
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Given Chip Saltsman’s “musical taste,” he wins BuzzFlash’s GOP Hypocrite of the Week.
All Hat No Cattle’s Phototoon Year in Review.
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