In an attempt to rebut the mounting evidence that her record as a “reformer” is a sham, GOP Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin announced today that she will be auctioning off running mate John McCain on eBay.

Surrounded by representatives of both the evangelical and tax-cutting wings of her party, Palin asserted that this would be “the best way to cut Government waste, especially since we don’t need a recent convert who only became a believer in God during this past election cycle.”

In attendance was Dr. James Dobson of the organization “Hocus-Pocus on the Family,” who indicated that his group might bid for and buy McCain, for the purpose of keeping him in a lockbox for the duration of a Palin Presidency.  Dobson added that the man-sized safe kept by Dick Cheney in his office might prove to be perfect for the job.

Alternatively, some of the GOP faithful were more inclined to burn McCain as a fossil fuel, but as a concession to the alternative energy crowd, only after utilizing the old man’s potential as a source of mighty wind.

Experienced eBay users were skeptical, however, that McCain could attract a substantial price at auction, pointing out that his value has greatly declined ever since the former maverick himself utilized eBay — with the obvious help of his aide — to sell his own soul.

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin on Palin’s Offenses Against Rape and Domestic Violence Victims.

Jon Stewart on Blink, Not Sarah, at One Good Move.

More McCain-Palin Posters, at All Hat No Cattle.

History Lesson: Wall Street, Economy Do Better Under Democrats – at Perrspectives.

Wait a minute. Perhaps Obama’s right. Perhaps I’ve been wrong to blindly follow the neanderthal, know-nothing ideology and policies of the modern GOP. Maybe we Republicans should embrace the progressive tradition and put the welfare of the average person and the survival of the planet above sheer corporate greed and profit. Maybe the lessons of science and the enlightenment could be extended to our party platform on issues of health care, the environment, and improving the lives of the poor and middle class. Perhaps I could lead the way to a new age, an age of rebirth, a Renaissance! …. Naaaaaahhh!

BLOGWORTHIES:

More on the “Party of Lincoln,” at All Hat No Cattle.

Jon Perr at C&L on 9/11 and Bush’s Law of Bin Laden.

Juan Cole: Time to Declare the original al-Qaeda Defeated.

$149 — 43 boxes of Mooseburger Helper

$289 – Christian Dior ’Pit Bull’ Lipstick 

$666 – eBay bid for a James Dobson autographed copy of How to Convert a Gay Jew.

$213 — Cans of Lighter Fluid, for book-burnings in backyard

$487 — Hockey sticks for clubbing baby seals

$17.99 — A copy of Karl Rove’s Vindictive Firing of Government Employees for Dummies  

$37 — Olive oil for salads (No Extra Virgin for daughter Bristol)

$69 — Pornographic Pay-Per-View  movies, including Come All Yee Faithful, and Who’s Your Holy Daddy?

$586 – 22 copies of the King James Bible, for every nightstand, TV stand, and bathroom in the house 

$4000 — Sarah Palin’s Dental Bridge, for side of mouth where she doesn’t even chew

$956 — Home Office Supplies for writing Palin’s Autobiography — A Journey From Juneau to Juno to Jew-No

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BLOGWORTHIES:

MSNBC on Just Who is Sarah Palin? — at One Good Move.

Part 2 of BuzzFlash series on Republicans’ Class War.

Lisa Casey with Obama’s New Campaign Strategy.

Top 10 Dumbest Sarah Palin Quotes, via Dan Kurtzman.

“AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, IT’S SIMPLY NOT TRUE – EVERYONE KNOWS THAT MOOSES HAVE ANTLERS, AND JEWS HAVE HORNS.”

Background story at Politico.

“MY GOAL WAS TO SUCK AT THE TEAT OF THE STATE UNTIL IT WAS AS ‘DRY’ AS THE EVANGELICALS WHO FORM MY BASE.”

The real story at Huffington Post.

Forget mammaries,  Lisa Casey looks at the ovary angle.

“IF MURROW HADN’T MADE HIS SCURRILOUS ATTACK ON JOE McCARTHY IN THE ’50′s, TODAY CHINA WOULD BE A U.S. PUPPET, WE’D STILL HAVE STAY-AT-HOME MOMS, AND KIDS WOULD BE EXPERIMENTING WITH HULA HOOPS INSTEAD OF DRUGS.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Based on the latest polls, BuzzFlash’s P.M. Carpenter laments The American Electorate: From Dingbats to Dingoes.  

Palin and Religion; Need something, just pray — at One Good Move.  (God help us!)  

Madkane’s sneak peek at Sarah Palin’s Barracuda Blog.

“EVERY INSTINCT I’VE EVER HAD FOR MODERATION AND COMMON-SENSE HAS BEEN WRONG; NOTHING’S EVER WORKED OUT FOR ME IN THE GOP.  SO NOW, I’M GOING TO DO THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE — INSTEAD OF RATIONALITY AND THE ENLIGHTENMENT, I’M GONNA GO WITH BIBLE-THUMPING AND NEANDERTHAL KNOW-NOTHINGNESS.”

“HI, I’M JOHN McCAIN, I’M IGNORANT AND I LIVE IN THE 13th CENTURY.  AND I ACCEPT YOUR NOMINATION FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.”

“JOHN McCAIN IS CHICKEN-SHIT SALAD … THE OPPOSITE OF EVERYTHING THIS COUNTRY SORELY NEEDS.”

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From an old classic to New Rules — Norm Jenson has Bill Maher’s latest.

Juan Cole on McCain’s choice of Palin as cynical and dishonorable, from a conservative GOP woman.

“I’M A FIRM BELIEVER IN STUFFING OUR WILDLIFE, NOT OUR MINDS.”

“SARAH PALIN PROVES THAT A WOMAN CAN FALL AS LOW AS A MAN IN TERMS OF BEING A RIGHT-WING, KNOW-NOTHING, BOOK-BURNING NEANDERTHAL IDEOLOGUE, WHO DISPUTES GLOBAL WARMING, AND HYPOCRITICALLY DENIES OTHERS THE VERY PRIVATE FAMILY CHOICES THAT SHE CLAIMS ARE HER OWN BUSINESS.”

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Lisa Casey shows how Palin can “do it all.”

McCain-Palin: Disrespect on Parade, by P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash.

Staying on message, Five Reasons Republicans Are Evil, at One Good Move.

Madkane on Bailin’ On Palin?

Anti-Jewish Terror is “God’s Judgment” — from the Palin Theological School, via Andrew Sullivan.

                        JAMES DOBSON 

“THE SECRET IS THAT THE NORTH VIETNAMESE ONLY BROKE HIS ARM, WE THREATENED TO BREAK HIS CAMPAIGN.”