The Satirical Political Report

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January 7th, 2010

Christian Right Seeks ‘No Fly’ Status for ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’

James Dobson, of Hocus-Pocus on The Family

James Dobson, of Hocus-Pocus on The Family

“HELL, WE’LL TAKE ISLAMO-FASCISTS OVER NON-BELIEVERS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. IT’S NO SECRET WHO WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON WITH … AND WHO WE SEE AS A BIGGER THREAT.”

Meanwhile, our GOP friends in Congress also get into the action ….

“AND THIS JUST IN FROM THE HILL: CITING THE GROWING THREAT FROM THE ‘FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER,’ SENATOR TOM COBURN OF OKLAHOMA HAS CALLED FOR THE RETURN OF THE INFAMOUS TERRORIST THREAT CHART, TO KEEP TABS ON ‘CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS.”

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Striking similar notes are BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with Terrorists and Their GOP Enablers Who Terrorize Us; and Norm Jenson at One Good Move with Oldskool New Atheism.

July 21st, 2009

Viagra’s Latest Commercial Set in ‘C Street House’

 Viva Viagra Commercial

Ad Copy:

“Once you’ve dealt with screwing your constituents, don’t let erectile dysfunction get in the way. VIVA … VIAGRA! Viagra, America’s most prescribed treatment for hypocritical, sexually repressed evangelicals. Before using, ask Dr. Tom Coburn if you or your parents have enough hush money to keep your mistress and her husband quiet. Side effects may include blurred vision (never mind, you already had that), upset spouses and flushing your career away. If an erection lasts for more than four hours, that’s a good thing — at least it’ll keep you from voting to deny health insurance to working-class Americans.”

Dancing Couple from "Tango" Viagra Commercial

July 20th, 2009

GOP Cites Lincoln to Defend the Secrecy of ‘C Street House’

News

“A CHRISTIAN HOUSE OF ILL-REPUTE, DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF, CANNOT STAND WITHOUT BEING A LAUGHINGSTOCK.”

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Lisa Casey previews an even bigger GOP Horror Show — The Republican Presidential Ticket in 2012.

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: On health-care reform, a surprising assist from Republicans.

July 17th, 2009

GOP Hires ‘The Village People’ to Perform ‘C Street Chalet’

[Sung to the tune of "YMCA"]

GOP man, if you want to go down.
With a woman, with whom you don’t have a vow
GOP man, if you don’t want to leave town
There’s no need … to … fly to Buenos

GOP man, there’s a place you can go.
GOP man, where wild oats you can sow
You can stay there, and I’m sure you can pray
For salvation, and perhaps a Three-Way

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

They have everything, for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with Christ, and use our in-house sex toys 

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

You can get yourself laid, deduct the cost of your meals,
Plot for school prayer, and to undo the New Deal

GOP man, do you seek guarantees?
That you can hide your, blatant hy-pocrisy?
GOP man, you can visit the Lord
And a  … smokin’ … Christian hot broad

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

[Editor's Note: Any resemblance between the Indian Chief and Michael Steele is purely coincidental.]

July 15th, 2009

A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Sen. Ensign’s Visit to the ‘C Street Family’

“SENATOR ENSIGN, YOU COME TO ME ON THE DAY YOU SCREWED THE WIFE OF YOUR TOP AIDE, AND YOU ASK ME TO KILL THE COMMANDMENT OF ”THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY?”

AlterNet with the Transcript of The Rachel Maddow Show on the Family — Washington D.C.’s “C Street House,”

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BuzzFlash with Tom Coburn as GOP Hypocrite of the Week, and Mark Karlin on Liz Cheney as Dick’s Mole in the State Department.

Norm Jenson with The Daily Show’s White Men Can’t Judge.

Dan Kurtzman with the Sonia Sotomayor Joke Round-Up.

December 18th, 2008

The REAL Story Behind Rick Warren’s ‘Water and Doughnuts’

“I GOT ALL THE GAY MEN IN ONE ROOM, ASKED THEM TO STRIP DOWN, AND IF THEY WERE ABLE TO WEAR THE DOUGHNUTS I PROVIDED, I HOSED ‘EM RIGHT DOWN.”

Story at HuffPost

December 18th, 2008

Obama’s Exquisite Compromise on Rick Warren

“UNNERSTAN’, HE’LL STILL BE GIVIN’ THE INVOCATION — HE’LL JUST BE GIVIN’ IT IN DRAG.” 

“I’M HOPING RICK WARREN WEARS MY NEW LINE — ‘EVENING GOWNS BY 9/11′.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Jon Perr weighs in on Warren with Obama’ Achilles Heel.

Lisa Casey on the Bush Untouchables.

Mocking Bill O’Reilly, at One Good Move.

October 30th, 2008

The Gloves Are Off! — Dems Have Plan to Neutralize Dishonest GOP Flyers

    VOTING IS NOT ON NOVEMBER 4th

                     BUT ON

      THE 5TH OF ARMAGEDDON!

October 12th, 2008

Majority Now Believes Business Wing of GOP More Likely to Cause Armageddon Than Evangelicals

“ACCORDING TO THE LATEST DATA FROM THE PEW POLL, EVEN ATHEISTS ARE MORE LIKELY TO BELIEVE IN THE RESURRECTION OF CHRIST THAN THE S&P 500.”

October 9th, 2008

When He Needs an Attack, in the Neighborhood, Who’s McCain Gonna’ Call … William Ayers!

The image “http://www.granitegrok.com/pix/McCain%20Phone.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

“BILL, OLD BUDDY. YOU REMEMBER THE GOOD ‘OLE SIXTIES, TIE DYE T-SHIRTS, FREE LOVE, LSD … WELL, IN ORDER TO SAVE MY CAMPAIGN, I HAVE A LITTLE ‘UNDERGROUND’ JOB FOR YOU, IF YOU GET MY DRIFT. IN FACT, I CAN EVEN LEND YOU SOME OF THE NAPALM I HAVE LEFT OVER FROM THE VIETNAM WAR.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on McCainiac’s partner in grime: Sarah Palin as a Manchurian Candidate for “the End-Times Crowd.”

McCain goes low road on Barack’s middle name, at All Hat No Cattle.

Norm Jenson has The Daily Show’s take on Prez Debate #2: Word War II.

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