“MR. PRESIDENT, DO YOU THINK THE NFL AND PHILADELPHIA EAGLES ‘ACTED STUPIDLY’ IN LETTING MICHAEL VICK BACK INTO THE LEAGUE?”

“A SPOKESMAN FOR THE SPANISH BULLFIGHTING LEAGUE SAID, AND I QUOTE: ‘WE’RE VERY PROUD TO SIGN MR. VICK, WHO WE FEEL CAN BEST USE HIS MOBILITY AND INSTINCTS TO THRIVE IN OUR SPORT’.”

“CHRIS, I THINK THE TEAM LOSING AFTER 60 MINUTES SHOULD BE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE ‘INSTANT REPLAY’ OF THE ENTIRE GAME.”