SYRIA:

Uh, excuse me, this is kind of embarrassing, but there’s no DEMOCRACY over here.

EGYPT:

Are you talking to me?

SYRIA:

Yeah … I just forgot to check, so if you could just spare me some Tahrir Square.

EGYPT:

No I’m sorry, I can’t spare any Tahrir Square.

SYRIA:

You can’t spare it??

EGYPT:

No there’s not enough Tahrir Square to spare.

SYRIA:

Well I don’t need much, just 3 square feet of Tahrir Square will do it.

EGYPT:

I’m sorry I don’t have any Tahrir Square to spare, now if you don’t mind.

SYRIA:

3 square feet of Tahrir Square? you can’t spare even 3 square feet?

EGYPT:

No I don’t have any square feet of Tahrir Square to spare … since we still need all of the Square to prevent the Egyptian Military from wiping out our ass!

“WE’VE SEEN THIS ‘MOVIE’ BEFORE, THERE’S NOT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THIS GUY WON’T LAST ANOTHER SIX WEEKS!

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Mubarak and America’s Corporate Cable Companies Have Something in Common: Banning Al Jazeera.

“AND AS FOR THE TEEMING MASSES OF POOR EGYPTIAN PEOPLE, LET THEM EAT …  UNLEAVENED BREAD.”

“YOU’RE A PROUD AND GREAT PEOPLE WHOSE PHARAOH NOT ONLY WORKED OUT THE ISSUE OF HEBREW SLAVERY, BUT ALSO INVENTED THE CONDOM.”

“IT JUST MAKES ME ‘TEAR UP,’ TO KNOW THAT I GREW UP IN A COUNTRY THAT COULD MAKE AN ENTIRE FOREIGN COUNTRY ‘TEAR UP’.”

“I’LL NOT ONLY BE REACTIVATING THE INTERNET, BUT USING SOCIAL MEDIA TO  POST ALL MY BEATINGS, TORTURE, SHOOTINGS AND HOUSE ARRESTS.”

“WE STRONGLY CONDEMN ANY VIOLENCE AGAINST THE EGYPTIAN PEOPLE … BUT TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST,‘HOUSE ARRESTS‘ DON’T SEEM LIKE SUCH A BAD IDEA.”