“OK, CLASS, THIS SOCIETY SIMPLY CAN’T TOLERATE A COOL, RATIONAL, THOUGHTFUL INDIVIDUAL. SO FOR LESSON NUMBER ONE, PLEASE LEAN YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR WINDOW AND SHOUT: I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M GOING TO TWITTER ABOUT IT.”

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Letterman Takes on Obama’s Critics, via Dan Kurtzman.

Lisa Casey on the latest Jindal common-sense swindle.

Madkane on an Email Swiped From Dick Cheney’s In-Box.

“AS LONG AS THEY INSIST ON TAXING OUR BONUSES, WE’RE GONNA’ THROW THE TARP MONEY INTO THE EAST RIVER.”

Meg White at BuzzFlash strikes a similar chord with Tea Party Tantrums.

Lisa Casey on Buying Toxic Assets.

“WE ALSO HAD TO SUSPEND OUR INTERNET SERVICE AND SELL OUR SOAPBOX, SO IT LOOKS LIKE THE REVOLUTION WILL HAVE TO WAIT AT LEAST ANOTHER GENERATION.”

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Lisa Casey on Congressional con-plicity.

Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

Juan Cole on Obama v. Cheney on Guantanamo, Prosecutions, Torture.

In perhaps the ultimate sign that the reckless behavior of  Wall Street is exacting an “historic” toll, the Borough of Manhattan, originally purchased by the Dutch from the Indians 400 years ago, was today sold back to the same Native-American tribe.

Most shockingly, the price was also the same — $24 — although given the strength of the Indian bargaining position, they did not have to pay cash, but only toxic stockpiles of  “corn derivatives,” also known as ethanol.

Perhaps fittingly, while the seller in such transactions typically springs for the celebratory lunch, in this case, the contracting parties went ”Dutch treat.”

Although the tribe indicated that the entire island of Manhattan would be turned into one giant gambling casino, most financial experts agreed that this represented an improvement in “risk management” over the business practices of the last ten years. 

Disgraced AIG executives lost no time in shifting their focus, immediately seeking hiring bonuses from the new Native-American owners of Manhattan. One former AIG trader even claimed that he had a brand new idea for “poker chip default swaps,” to insure that there would never be any losses resulting from sub-prime gamblers.

On CNBC, Jim Cramer commented that he was “sitting bullish” about the deal, and that in addition to the gaming industry,  he was optimistic that this deal would even be able to resuscitate “Running Bear Stearns.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on the Deficit Bogeyman under your bed.

Norm Jenson with The Sunday Funnies and Bill Maher’s New Rules.

Pick your poison, between Congress and AIG, at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane’s Fume About Hume.

“THE PROBLEM IS, THEY FEEL THAT EVEN IF THEY PICK A FINAL FOUR OF ALL NO. 16 SEEDS, THE GOVERNMENT WILL JUST STEP IN AGAIN TO MAKE UP THEIR LOSSES.” 

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Wal-Mart, Wall Street and W: Three W’s That Sank the American Economy and Boosted China.

Lisa Casey with The Masterbaiter.

Madkane’s Ode To Ari Fleischer.

Dan Kurtzman with The Week in Political Cartoons.

“NOW, YOU GOTTA’ GO OUT AND BUY SHARES OF JON STEWART — THE ONLY ONE WHO’S GOT THE BALLS TO LAY ‘BARE’ THE ‘BULLSHIT’ THAT MY FELLOW COMMENTATORS AND I HAVE BEEN TOSSING OUT OVER THE LAST YEAR.”

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with kudos to Jon Stewart: Devastates CNBC and Its Destructive Boosterism of Failed Wall Street Scams.

Norm Jenson has the Stewart skewer of CNBC here.

“THEY PROMISED ME 10% ANNUAL RETURNS, AND A CHANCE TO MEET JESSICA RABBIT.”

“THESE PIES ARE BEING MADE FROM HIPPIE COMMUNISTIC ORGANIC APPLES, WHICH ARE PICKED BY ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, AND WHICH THE ADMINISTRATION PLANS TO DISTRIBUTE AS PART OF THEIR SOCIALIZED MEDICAL PLAN TO KEEP THE DOCTOR AWAY.”

“SO MUCH FOR BI-PIE-TISANSHIP.”

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Bobby Jindal as the New ‘Hoover’, at All Hat No Cattle.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Most Wealthy Liberals Won’t Back Progressive Media.

Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons

“ZESE REPUBLICANS ARE LIKE CRAZY CYBORGS WITH NO FEELINGS, AND UNLESS VEE GO BACK IN TIME AND MAKE SURE THEY AREN’T BORN, THE WHOLE WORLD, AND NOT JUST CAL-EE-FORNIA, MIGHT COME TO AN END.”

“BY THE TIME I’M FINISHED WITH THIS STATE, IT’LL BE CALLED ‘SLUMDOG LOUISIANA’.”

‘WOULD YOU LIKE TO USE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AS YOUR LIFELINE?”