10. Conjugal visits by 72 virgins would severely strain resources of U.S. Marshall’s Service.
9. Federal Civil Rights laws bar anal plunging.
8. NY License Plates would suddenly read ‘JIHADMAN.’
7. Thufferin’ Thuccotash! Terrorists would have better speech therapy than Rudy.
6. 9/11 plotters would be less estranged from their families than Rudy.
5. Afraid they’ll get more media exposure than Rudy through MSNBC’s Al Qaeda Lockup.
4. Terrorists may let Bernard Kerik use their cells for secret prison trysts.
3. Defendants could get representation by Rudy’s ‘Cousin Vinny’.”
2. Successful prosecutions would overshadow Rudy’s own 100% conviction rate against squeegee men.
1. Since gas chamber has been abolished, Rudy would look silly witnessing executions wearing his gas mask.
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Norm Jenson with Jon Stewart’s rip of Rudy.
