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The Satirical Political Report

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December 26th, 2010

Gay Activists Now Target DADT’s Last Bastion: The Republican Party

Coming off perhaps their biggest victory yet with the repeal of the military’s “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy, the leading gay and lesbian civil rights organizations are now planning to take on the last U.S. institution to follow this outdated policy: The Republican Party itself.

David Brock of  Media Matters, who served as a key leader of the campaign to repeal DADT in the armed forces, admitted that “this may well the most daunting task faced by the LGBT community, since the uber-macho culture of the GOP makes the United States Marine Corps look like a Sunday afternoon tea party.”

Brock, the ex-conservative who now exposes his former right-wing colleagues, added that “if a Ken Mehlman can be openly wedded to the Republican Party, then same-sex marriage should be a walk in the park.”

Not surprisingly,  John McCain immediately registered his objections, stating on the Senate floor that the GOP “simply cannot  afford such a radical change, particularly in the middle of the War Against Obama.” McCain later told Bill O’Reilly: “Just imagine how it would feel to suddenly wake up one morning and discover that the Chamber of Commerce lobbyist you’re in bed with … is actually gay!”

Senator Lindsey Graham also expressed grave concerns about reversing GOP policy, stating “once we, I mean ‘they,’ come out of the Log Cabin, the Republicans may have to actually start acting like the party of Lincoln.”  Graham also questioned “how we’re supposed to concentrate on showering the wealthy with tax breaks, if we’re worried about showering next to homosexuals in the Senate steam room.”

On the House side, Speaker-in-waiting John Boehner similarly rejected the notion of gays serving openly in the GOP, telling FOX News that “the last thing we need is a party populated by overly sensitive types who are prone to fits of crying.”

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When is US Government Secrecy and Censorship Like the Old Soviet Union?– at BuzzFlash.

Madkane’s Tragic Limerick Ode To John McCain.

Crooks And Liars on Who Were The Big Crooks And Liars Of 2010?

December 19th, 2010

DADT Repeal Allows Gays Out of Closet, But McCain Stays In Cave Like Japanese WWII Holdouts

“MY FRIENDS, IT’S STILL NOT TOO LATE TO FIX THIS HORRENDOUS LAW, BY LIMITING IT TO TWO YEARS AND  ONLY TO THE RICHEST GAYS IN THE MILITARY, MAKING MORE THAN $250,000 A YEAR.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: CNN-Sonsored GOP Presidential Debate To Include Tea Party.

BartCopE! with some great links to Krugman, Hightower and others.

December 18th, 2010
November 13th, 2010

Cindy McCain Admits She’s Bi-Textual

“I fully support the NOH8 campaign and all it stands for and am proud to be a part of it. ….But I stand by my husband’s stance on DADT.” {Actual Tweet by CindyhM1}

Full story at HuffPost.

April 8th, 2010

Stunner: Palin and Bachmann To Support Repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’

“WITH OBAMA’S POLICY OF UNILATERAL NUCLEAR DISARMAMENT, OUR ONLY HOPE IS TO BRING BACK THE ‘ENOLA GAY‘.”

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From Nukes, to Smokin’ in the Boys Roomat All Hat No Cattle.

Dan Kurtzman with The Dumbest Political Quotes of 2010 (So Far).

February 2nd, 2010

Who DADT Dere Gonna Beat THIS ‘Ain’t’

JOHN McCAIN

JOHN McCAIN

“I’M SO EMBARRASSED BY MY HYPOCRISY ON ‘DON’T ASK DON’T TELL, THAT I SHOULD REALLY BE WEARING PLASTIC INSTEAD OF PAPER.”

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P.M, Carpenter at BuzzFlash on GOP Overconfidence.

Lisa Casey on the latest Palin Shenanigans.

November 11th, 2009

Secret bin Laden Tape Reveals Al Qaeda Strategy to Infiltrate U.S. Military

“DON’T WORRY ABOUT OPENLY SHOWING YOUR SUPPORT FOR ‘HOLY JIHAD’ AND ‘DEATH TO THE WEST,’ JUST DON’T REVEAL YOUR AFFECTION FOR BETTE MIDLER.”

June 15th, 2009

Iran’s Supreme Leader Stops the Recount, Citing Bush v. Gore

“IN THE WORDS OF THE GRAND AYATOLLAH NINO SCALIA … ‘FUCK THE VOTE’.”

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Stephen Colbert on the North Korean Nutjob, via One Good Move.

Madkane on Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell. Just Sign!