The Satirical Political Report

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February 27th, 2010

Dick Cheney Advocates Waterboarding of Killer Whale

“AFTER JUST 45 SECONDS WE’LL HAVE HIM BLUBBERING, AS OPPOSED TO THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION, WHICH PLANS TO TRY HIM IN THE CIVILIAN COURTS OF ‘THE LOST CITY OF ATLANTIS’.”

February 23rd, 2010

Desperate U.S. Curling Team to Use Cheney’s Lip

“WE’RE NOT SURE HE CAN HELP US WIN, BUT AT LEAST HIS MERE PESENCE WILL KEEP THE ICE SUFFICIENTLY CHILLED IN THE FACE OF GLOBAL WARMING.”

February 22nd, 2010

Dick Cheney Inspires a New ‘Colon Bowel Doctrine’

“IT’S PLAIN TO ME WE HAVE TO KEEP SHITTING ON THE FORMER VICE PRESIDENT’S HEAD WITH OVERWHELMING FORCE,  SINCE IT APPEARS THE BASTARD’S HEART HAS NINE LIVES.”


February 21st, 2010

Martin Scorsese Films ‘Shutter Island’ Sequel at CPAC

“WHY PAY ACTORS TO PLAY THE CRIMINALLY INSANE … WHEN I CAN JUST USE THE REAL THING FOR FREE.”

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Hey Dems – Where’s Your CPAC Conference? — at BuzzFlash.

Lisa Casey with The Tea Party Poster, and One Good Move with more Right-Wing Insanity — Combining MLK Holiday and ‘Gun Day.’

February 15th, 2010

Cheney Finally Backs Off Waterboarding, in Favor of ‘Luging’

“I KNEW IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE WE HAD AN INTERNATIONALLY SANCTIONED METHOD OF SCARING THE CRAP OUT OF TERRORISTS … AND TO PLACATE THE LIBERAL WUSSES, WE CAN EVEN HAND OUT MEDALS.”

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Lisa Casey’s take on the Cheney message.

January 9th, 2010

Obama Refuses to Admit We’re at War … With Right-Wingers!

“KEITH, IT’S SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH TO TRY THE LIKES OF CHENEY, LIMBAUGH AND BECK IN A CIVILIAN COURT.  ONLY A WAR CRIMES TRIBUNAL IS APPROPRIATE …  GIVEN THE EXISTENTIAL THREAT THEY POSE TO CIVILIZATION.”

January 8th, 2010

More Right-Wing Complaints: Obama’s ‘War on Terror’ Tattoo Too Weak

“CHRIS, IT’S REALLY NOT SUFFICIENT FOR THE PRESIDENT TO HAVE ‘AL QAEDA SUCKS’ TATTOOED ON HIS FOREHEAD; WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE DONE IS A ‘MUSHROOM CLOUD OVER MOHAMMED’S HEAD.”

December 30th, 2009

Cheney Claims Truman Pretended We Weren’t at War With Japan

“IF TRUMAN HAD BEEN REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THE WAR IN THE PACIFIC, HE WOULD’VE RIDDEN THE A-BOMB RIGHT DOWN TO HIROSHIMA.”

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Lisa Casey on Cheney Pretending He’s Not a Shameless Hypocrite, and Harry Shearer on Cheney’s Game.

December 25th, 2009

Cheney Advises the Pope to Torture His Attacker

“SO I SAID, ‘YOUR  HOLINESS, YA’ KNOW THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH USING A LITTLE HOLY WATER TO TEACH SOMEONE RELIGION’.”


December 15th, 2009

Progressive Caucus Urges ‘Drone’ Attack on Lieberman

“SOMETIMES THE ONLY PUBLIC OPTION FOR A HEALTHY CURE IS TO GIVE SOMEONE A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE.”

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Jon Perr on Sheep, Unicorns, Kamikazes and Joe Lieberman.

Lisa Casey on the twin drones named Cheney.

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