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The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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June 2nd, 2009

Cheney Finally Compromises on Gitmo — Agrees to House Detainees in His Man-Sized Safe

Cheney

“I TOLD PRESIDENT OBAMA I’D BE GLAD TO ‘HAVE‘ THEM … WITH FAVA BEANS ON THE SIDE.” 

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Meg White at BuzzFlash: The Murder of Dr. George Tiller is Part of the War Against Women.

Lisa Casey Asks: How can the Dems ever match the GOP?

Juan Cole on Obama and Resolving the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict.

May 22nd, 2009

With Caleefornia Broke, a Desperate Arnold Agrees to Take Detainees

“YA, I TOLD PRESIDENT OBAMA HE CAN CHECK DA’ TERRORISTS INTO ZEE HOTEL CALEEFORNIA ANYTIME HE VANTS … BUT ZEY CAN NEVER LEAVE.”

January 26th, 2009

‘Poetic Justice’: Administration Develops Plan to Send Detainees to Alberto Gonzales

“I’LL JUST TELL THEM I DON’T REMEMBER GIVING ORDERS TO WATERBOARD ‘EM, STACK THEM NAKED LIKE LAWN CHAIRS, OR MAKE THEM WATCH MY CONGRESSSIONAL TESTIMONY.”

January 23rd, 2009

Forgit Gitmo – Obama Issues Order Shutting Down MSNBC’s ‘Lockup’

 

“WHAT SIGNAL DOES IT SEND TO THE REST OF THE WORLD WHEN A MAJOR CABLE NETWORK GIVES MORE TIME TO DANGEROUS CHARACTERS THAN TO CHRIS MATTHEWS — NOW WAIT A MINUTE, I’D BETTER KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN ON THIS ONE.”