The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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September 17th, 2009

GOP Senator To Go ‘Under Cover’ on Acorn Prostitution Investigation

“FORGET HEALTH CARE, WHEN IT COMES TO REFORMING THE WORLD’S OLDEST PROFESSION, I STRONGLY BELIEVE IN THE PUBLIC OPTION, AND I’M JUST THE MAN TO LEAD THE EFFORT.”

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Lisa Casey with an undercover operation at the CIA.

August 9th, 2009

Who Says GOP’s Against Health Reform: Supports Expanded Coverage for Venereal Disease

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“UNDER OUR PLAN, ALL ‘PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS’ WILL BE COVERED, AND ‘PORTABILITY’ WILL EXTEND AS FAR AS ARGENTINA.”

May 9th, 2009

David Vitter Pays Porn Star NOT to Screw Him

“THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I’VE ACTUALLY ASKED A WOMAN TO PRACTICE PREMATURE WITHDRAWAL.”

The Stormy Daniels candidacy story here.

February 6th, 2009

GOP Senators Seek to Delay Stimulus Bill, So They Can LISTEN to the Audio Version

“MADAME PRESIDENT, I’D LIKE A CHANCE TO ACTUALLY HEAR THE BILL, SET AGAINST THE BACKGROUND OF NEW AGE MUSIC, AND THE BURNING OF AROMATIC CANDLES.”

January 14th, 2009

David Vitter ‘Lays’ It On the Line to Hillary

“NOW, MADAM  SECRETARY-DESIGNATE, I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR HUSBAND DOESN’T TAKE ANY MONEY THAT WILL FORCE YOU TO PROSTITUTE  YOURSELF, BLOW YOUR JOB RESPONSIBILITIES, OR OTHERWISE ENGAGE IN ANY RISKY BUSINESS ON BEHALF OF THIS COUNTRY.”

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