“NOW, LADIES AND GENTS, I KNOW THIS ROLE WAS TRADITIONALLY RESERVED TO WOMEN, BUT I’M GONNA’ DO MY DARNDEST TO BE THE FIRST LATE NIGHT HOST TO BREAK THE CRASS CEILING.”

“I GUESS THE SECRET’S NOW OUT - NOT ONLY DID I PREFER ‘DOGGIE STYLE,’ BUT I USUALLY HAD TO BEG TO GET IT.”

10. Extortionist told Letterman: Either you Pay, or we’ll Play ‘Do YOU Float.’

9. Letterman’s sex with staffers was watched by Paul Shaffer at the side of the bed.

8. After sex, Letterman would light up a cigarette and watch Conan O’Brien.

7. When seeking oral sex, Letterman would ask: ‘Uhh, got any GUMS.’

6. In order to keep affairs secret from his family, Letterman broke into the home of his former stalker.

5. When trying to avoid sleeping over, Letterman would use excuse: “Gotta’ catch a plane, with John McCain.”

4. Letterman’s favorite position is ‘stand up.’

3. Letterman made sex videos, produced by Worldwide I Want to Get into Your Pants.

2.  Letterman’s most disgusting habit: Throwing his used condoms off the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater.

1. When he couldn’t find a willing partner, Dave called his mother in Indiana, and asked her to bake an ‘American Pie.’