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The Legend of Fred Thompson: A Politician Turned Actor Who Couldn’t Play a Candidate on TV

Evangelicals Claim Prop 8 Protects the Sanctity of Marriages Performed by Elvises in Vegas Chapels

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Famed Photog Annie Leibovitz Uses Negatives to Capture McCain’s Campaign

Iraq Celebrates 5th Anniversary by Re-Gifting Democracy

Rudy Giuliani Reveals His Feet Are Two Different Sizes: a ’9′ and an ’11′

Co-Founder of Slinky Dies, After Falling Down Steps

Pollsters Admit Flaws in Methodology: ‘Exit Polls’ Conducted at Entrances

Sarah Palin Touts Her Experience as a ‘Closet Organizer’

Satirists Riot Over The New Yorker Obama Cartoon

Americans Strongly Believe in God, But One That Only Controls the Outcome of Sporting Events

Due to Snowstorm, Premature Ejaculation Clinic Operating on a 5 Minute Delay

Huckabee Declares He’s Ready to be President From ‘Day Six,’ Literally

Spitzer Scandal Spurs Call for Reform: Public Financing of Hookers

Christian Right Condemns Gay Adoption of Highways

FOX News Blames Obama for Nigerian Spam

Time-Life Issues the Definitive Collection of ‘Bush Scandals’

Sarah Palin Establishes a New ‘Crack in the WOODEN FLOOR’

Stood Up by ‘Joe the Plumber,’ McCain Campaigns with ‘Janitor in a Drum’

Iraqi Shoe Thrower Receives a ‘Seinfeld Sentence’ — Has to Serve as Bush’s Butler (and Shoeshine man)

A Sign of the Times: E*Trade Baby Leaps to Death From His Crib

McCain Claims ‘Multiple House Story’ Helps Him With Mormons

Sarah Palin Takes Phone Call from Napoleon Bonaparte

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Sarah Palin’s Greatest ‘Gift’ to America: Ruining Thanksgiving

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GOP Realizes Its Worst Nightmare: Black Man Elected to Lead U.S. Out of The Dark Ages

Although the Yankees have already handed out almost a quarter billion dollars to pitchers C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett, Yankee co-owner Hank Steinbrenner told a frenzied New York press corps that ”the latest move won’t really affect our payroll, since the Iraqi journalist personally told me he’d work for no money, just dinners.”

Steinbrenner also boasted that he had made an ingenius marketing move, since it would give the Yankees an opportunity to tap into a huge new fan base, the community of Arab-Americans and Muslims who live in the greater New York metropolitan area.  ”I’ve already asked my people to look into staging a promotional ‘Abaya Night’  – I think those things would look great in pinstripes and emblazoned with the famous NY logo.”

As far as Zaidi’s pitching skills are concerned, Steinbrenner stated that “the righthander had to work a bit on his control, but we kind of figured his head-hunting skills would come in handy in those heated games with the Red Sox.”

In related news, the ultimate Yankee fan, Rudy Giuliani, enthusiastically embraced the move, saying “I forgive al-Zaidi, at least he’s not a community organizer.” “Besides,” the former NY mayor added, “it’s not like the guy’s shoe size was a ’9′ or an ’11′.”

“I GUESS YOU COULD SAY, THAT A GOOD CLOSET ORGANIZER … KNOWS HOW TO DIVIDE THE ‘WHITES’ FROM THE ‘BLACKS’.”

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Meg at BuzzFlash on The Welfare Queen from Wasilla.

Lisa Casey weighs in on Ms. Apocalypstick.

Juan Cole: Iraq Moves Closer to Obama-Type Plan for early US Withdrawal.

Proof That John McCain Is, In Fact, George Bush, via Dan Kurtzman.

“AND WITH ALL THE ADDITIONAL SHELF SPACE, YOU’LL BE ABLE TO PUT THE EXTRA HANGARS TO GOOD USE .”