“AND SO WHEN I LOOKED OUT MY WINDOW, AND SAW COLUMBUS COMING TO THE SHORES OF ALASKA, ALONG WITH NINO SCALIA, A FORD PINTO, AND SANTA CLAUS, IT JUST REAFFIRMED MY FAITH IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY OF OURS.”

Although Gibson blamed his outburst on alcohol, many speculate that he was really venting his frustration over failing to land the Matt Dillon role of the racist cop in the Oscar-winning movie, Crash.

However, there is really no dispute that Mr. Gibson’s intoxication played a major role in the incident, since the deputy who was asked by Gibson about his possible Jewish heritage –¬†was actually black.

While it has been widely reported that the LAPD initially tried to cover up the incident, the full extent of their attempt to “scrub” the record is now first coming to light.¬† Indeed, Gibson’s reported comment that he “owns Malibu” was really a doctored version of his actual words, that he “owned Malijew.”

In addition, the transcript of the confrontation was also changed to read that “the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world,” when the original reflects that Gibson had instead claimed that “since the Jews are all the dermatologists, they’re responsible for all the warts in the world.”

Gibson’s offensive remarks were not¬†aimed¬†solely at Jews, as he also referred to a female officer as “sugar tits.”¬† Surprisingly, however, the blowback from this remark¬†has not come from the National Organization of Women, but from the National Society for the Prevention of Diabetes.

Gibson, however, did seem genuinely contrite about his anti-Semitic remarks, and promised to make it up to the Jewish people by casting one of their own in the title role, without any stunt doubles, in the remake of Passion of the Christ.