“THE REASON I HAVEN’T SAID ANYTHING ON THE BENCH FOR OVER FIVE YEARS, IS THAT CITIZENS UNITED MONEY TALKS, WHILE BULLSHIT WALKS.”

Background here, and BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Clarence Thomas as Role Model for Conflict of Interest and Supreme Injustice.

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“GINNI IS A TEABAGGER IN THE FIGURATIVE SENSE, WHILE MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH CLARENCE PROVES HE TOOK MORE OF A STRICT CONSTRUCTIONIST APPROACH TO THE SUBJECT.”

WaPo story here.

“WHILE WE DON’T BELIEVE IN OBAMA-LIKE ‘BEER SUMMITS,’ WE ACTUALLY GAVE MS. HILL A CHOICE — BETWEEN A PEPSI MAXI-PAD OR A CHERRY COKE.”

“WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU EXPECT FROM A WOMAN WHO WILDLY ASSERTS  THAT I COMPLAINED ABOUT A PUBIC HAIR IN THE COCAINE THAT I GOT FROM RUSH LIMBAUGH.”

“WHY COUNT BULLETS WHEN WE NEVER COUNTED BALLOTS; ALL WE’RE REALLY INTERESTED IN IS THE ORIGINAL INTENT OF THE BARBARIANS.”

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with the Nino Indictment: Wanted for Murder: Antonin Scalia.

“NOW, JUDGE SOTOMAYOR, IF CONFIRMED, WILL YOU EXERCISE THE KIND OF JUDICIAL ‘RESTRAINT’ THAT WILL KEEP YOU FROM DRINKING A CAN OF DIET COKE IN THE PRESENCE OF JUSTICE THOMAS?”

[Here's the original and complete SNL Transcript.]

“DESPITE MY PRIOR EXPERIENCE WITH PUBIC HAIR ON COKE, I NOW FAVOR THE OPPOSITE RESULT: A SEARCH FOR COKE IN PUBIC HAIR.”

The 8-1 Supremes ruling at the NYT.

“I SAID, LOOK DAVID, IN THIS NEW FLU-PANIC ENVIRONMENT, WE CAN JUSTIFY YOUR RECLUSIVE DESIRE TO STAY AT HOME, AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO EXPOSE YOURSELF TO SUCH SWINE AS SCALIA OR THOMAS.”

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BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin: Quickest Route for an Obama Supreme Court Nominee is Ending the Filibuster.

“I STILL REFUSED TO ASK ANY QUESTIONS AT ORAL ARGUMENT, BUT I DID CONDUCT MY OWN PERSONAL WRIT OF SEARCH-IORARI.”

The real story here.

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And on the big CIA torture story:

P. M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on Obama’s long and labored path to doing the right thing.

Jon Perr on the GOP’s Seinfeld Defense of Torture.

Lisa Casey on the irrepressible Dickster.

“RAHM, IF WE CAN JUST GET ROBERTS TO ADMINISTER THE OATH A COUPLA’ MORE TIMES, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO LAST LONG ENOUGH TO REPLACE SCALIA, THOMAS, ALITO … AND THE CHIEF JUSTICE HIMSELF.” 

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Of Al Gore’s Presidency Denied, Eight Years of Illegitimacy, and the Triumph of Meritocracy over Corrupt Entitlement.

Inaugural Humor Parade, via Dan Kurtzman.